Worth and Relationships

Years ago, I dated someone who seemed to be a good kinky fit. Things progressed and friendship combined with kink seemed to evolve yet devolve.  I was put in many situations that, now, I realize were fucked up.  While in many cases, men will sometimes lament that women are trying to change them, I realize now that he was trying to change me.  And not for the better – but for his fucked up way of viewing things.

I got hurt. Someone I know recently wrote an article on a popular site that made me think of him – made me relive a bunch of the shit I lived through then.  It was affirming, yet confirmed my worst fear – he wasn’t just bad for me – he fucked me up.

Fast forward several years.  I meet a man – a man I am enamored with – a man I respect – a man I find a good energy connection with – and, well, it makes me see an issue with how I had explained my past relationship.  Sure, things were not easy – me being poly – him being monogamous – be we sort it out eventually.

And really  – really what does it is simple –

I never ever wanted him to change – wanted him to be a different person. Ever. Truly.

I appreciated and loved who he was – exactly who he was.  I never thought I could change nor did I wish to.  He was this man who I respected, and well, if I respected him and who he was, I could never imagine trying to alter that – that would be saying I don’t love him as he is but love him as I hoped he could be..  That was screwed up to me – I couldn’t do it.

And what I love the most? He doesn’t want me to be anything than I am.  And I love that about him.  No manipulation. NO games. No anything but love for who I am.

And that is one of the reasons this works.  He loves me in all my flaws and all – and I love him for the same reason.

We don’t want each other to change.

We just want to have the other in our lives.

And that – THAT makes a HUGE fucking difference.

I love him – he loves me – life is fucking excellent.

We are both blessed.

What do you think?