I’m in a funk this morning.
Not sure why.
I’m sure that the fact my dead dog who I loved very much popped up on my Facebook feed didn’t help.
Nor did the fact that tomorrow we take our old ailing dog to the vet to find out what’s happening. Each day he is slipping further and further away. It’s all age related. But seeing him almost fall over again as he’s trying to go outside just kills me.
I’m sure the fact I had such an insanely overwhelming day at work did not help. So much energy expended left me wrung out – and sleep did not fix it.
I’m sure that seeing Amanda Palmer’s tweets and blog post on Facebook about how she is racing from England to Boston to hopefully say good-bye, in person, to her best friend of 30 years did not help. Instead it reminded me of getting a call about G’s grandmother’s cancer while on a business trip – and rushing to fly back.
And I know my funk isn’t being helped by the fact I feel like I’m not doing enough – or maybe I’m doing the wrong things. I don’t know. All I know is that I feel a lot has come to a head this week. And when that happens – I never feel like I can do enough – that I am enough. Despite the fact that this is usually my mantra:
We all have our days, I guess…..and right now, I’m in the middle of them.
I know this too shall all pass….I guess I just need some laughter and to recharge and to stop letting myself feel guilt about shit. Easier said than done – but I don’t know…..right now, it’s where I’m at.