“How do you know all of this? You seem to know so much??”
I chuckled because she is not the first to make that observation or ask that question, then I replied, “I watch and listen – people tell you more than they know they are telling you in how they tell you – in their actions.”
I had just spent the past 30 minutes sharing with her my observation about things. Given her my impression of the state of affairs. I was happy to hear that some of them were not surprises – but some were surprising to her only because she was surprised someone had noticed. She was surprised I was seeing past the facade.
The most profound was my comment about a person she is in conflict with right now. “She presents as a dominant personality but the reality is she is not – she is insecure in who she is – it is why she surrounds herself with people who count on her – who almost follow her blindly. She is very unsure of herself – more than most would realize.”
“Now that you say this – you are dead on. I never looked at it that way.”
There are some people in some situations who look at me and wonder why I’m “quiet’. “You aren’t quiet and unopinionated,” they will tell me after, “why did you not say more?”
Because I don’t need to talk to understand or even make a point. And sometimes, sometimes you need to shut up and listen in order to really get to the heart of how to handle something. And sometimes your silence sets the right tone with the people around you. It says “I don’t have to toss my voice into the sea of voices, but I can sit here, learn, and know how to make my voice – my point – be heard in a way that is more effective.”
Plus, it is quite amazing how much people can tell you without realizing they are telling you. You just have to silent enough to ‘hear’ it.