Bittersweet

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It is not surprising that I’m not one of those parents who is counting down the days until both my kids leave the nest.  I don’t want to wrap the in bubble wrap or keep them in a bubble either – but I’m in the space of enjoying the fuck out of every moment with them.  Enjoying them growing into their own bad and amazing selves.  Enjoying seeing how they evolve as people.  It isn’t always easy but I’d be an idiot not to admit that my kids are pretty fucking easy compared to their peers.  They are self aware. They have an opinion of the world and aren’t afraid to use it.  They are good students with a desire to learn and grow.

DJ turns 15 tomorrow. Or quite technically in about 4 hours, marks her true birthday – 12:41am on the 7th of March for anyone at home.

I have a few people comment about the fact she’s 3 years away from leaving me.

I have had a few people make smart ass comments about the fact I will feel sad she is so close to adulthood.

And in both situations, the phrase “fuck off” has passed over my lips.

Her turning 15 is awesome but is bittersweet. I hate thinking 3 years from now. Because the idea of her being outside of my life in a way that means I will interact with her not daily…..well, that makes me sad.  She is such a cool kid that I would be an idiot not to admit I will miss her.  I will celebrate the fact she is going on with life – as an adult, but it will be exactly that – bittersweet.

I don’t want her to stay young forever – I just like this person in my life. Nothing wrong with that.

I’m just amazed how insensitive people are about this. How if I feel this way, it is wrong.

To them I say “fuck off”.

And excuse me as I do shed some tears at the idea that my baby bird is about ready to leave the nest.  I knew it would happen – I just didn’t realize how bittersweet it would be when it did.

And excuse me if I ask for those same people to let me savor the moments with her instead of fixate on the fact she’s gone soon.  I don’t want to miss a moment.

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