Holding onto the Light

Things that suck:

  • Lack of sleep (yay 1:30am-4:30am awake times)
  • Feeling like my body is fighting a cold….2 days before I’m going to Vegas with SB – between the lack of sleep and my immune system in overdrive, I’m in a weird space

Things that rock:

  • Going to Vegas in 2 days with SB – going there for a kink event, spending 5 days there – and enjoying the fact work knows they cannot contact me
  • Hot green tea
  • Sunshine in Oregon in February.
  • Having a real, grown-up photo printer that produces incredible images that match exactly what I see on my screen
  • Feeling somewhat prepared to pack – clothes are washed, toiletries are purchased, don’t feel like I’m missing anything……at least not right now.
  • Going out to see Alton Brown Live tonight – G bought us tickets what seems like forever ago.  Should be good – our favorite food geek at a live show.  Awesome.

I am seriously trying to focus on the things that rock.  This cold is fucking with that.  But it’s funny – last night I had this dream where I was at an event with someone I consider a mentor and a teacher.  I was fretting about everything – anxiety and stress were definitely manifesting in the dream.  She leaned over to me, placed her hands on me, and told me to breath with her.  As I breathed with her, I felt all of that anxiety and stress leave – and in its place was golden light – warm light – I felt lighter – I felt better.  When I opened my eyes, the people around us were grinning at what the saw because while I was feeling all of that, I guess they were seeing it.  It was quite amazing. I’m trying to focus there – focus on that feeling – of peace, of all is going to be right, or no-stress.

Here’s hoping I can hold onto it.


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