I think it started yesterday when every time I would say something to someone, they would barely acknowledge it and launch right into their own shit. Kind of like, “wow my car is making a funky noise” was met with “yeah, anyway, did I tell you about the panties this random guy on the internet sent me – they were black.” I started out by ignoring what this person was saying – like this person said nothing, so I would go on like, “every time I go left, my car sounds weird – it’s starting to freak me out because I love my car.” Met with, “yeah, anyway, so he was like ‘OMG you must not like the panties I sent because you haven’t sent me photos in them’ and I was like ‘but I have you just aren’t paying attention.” So, I would reply with “I wonder if I have time to take it to the mechanic.” And the cycle would continue. (**I should mention nothing is wrong with my car – just using it as an example for the conversation.)
Doing that is more exhausting than trying to participate in her crazy. She finally stopped talking to me – but not soon enough.
In between all of the crazy, I did other things like finish booking my art shows for next year. Awesome. Until I realized I needed to schedule time with “the team”. Yeah, I use that loosely. I look at my calendar and send out dates and times – because yes, they are going to work around my schedule. One came back with a list of what would work. The other came back with “Tuesdays” (there were no Tuesday on the list – because 1. I cannot do Tuesdays and 2. Another member has a Tuesday obligation as well.). Knowing this person too well, I knew it was his way of giving me the finger – almost daring me to take action so he can yell and scream and act the victim…again. I just walked away. Given the situation is also entangled with a long-time friend of mine, there is no good outcome. Sigh.
Got home, grabbed G, and made our way to soak. Ahhh, I thought – finally, some heat on my sore muscles – bruises from kinky play be damned! In the dressing room, I noticed not many cubbies were taken. “Awesome,” I thought – a quiet night. We went outside to get into the soaking tubs to find it packed. So we wedged ourselves into the corner of one – the guy next to me sprawling out – not adjusting to let others have space. This apparently was the theme of the night – the soak isn’t about sharing space with people in a “healing environment” – it was more about taking whatever space you want – others be damned because it’s about me, dammit!!! Sadly, I was too late (and too polite) to adopt this policy. I tried to enjoy the soak. But it’s hard to do when I feel like my personal space was being violated. And everyone was watching everyone else too – so I was waiting for something to be said when G put his hand on me (no sexual contact is a rule – but most translate it into a zero-contact rule & will enforce it loudly). Not what I was looking for.
We came home and went to the dive bar around the corner for a bite. Not realizing that it was the local hangout of the Green Bay Packers fans. I expected some football – but instead got so loud that conversation was almost impossible at times. We ate – had a beer or three – and headed home. I was done. I zonked out pretty fast – much faster than I realized.
Then woke up at 12:30 am for two hours.
New day, I thought, when I finally got out of bed at 6am. Day closer to going to the coast with SB. Awesome!
I checked my email – and got a weird request for conversation from DJ’s TKD school – no real clarity about what it’s about just a “let me know when you’ll be in so we can have a talk about her TKD training.”…..Uhm, okay? Now, if anyone who knows me wants to drive me nuts – do just that – no details, no context, no nothing – just make a request for something that could go really well or really fucked up and watch that drive me nutty. I tried to fish for some more info from her, but to no avail. Guess I’ll find out tonight.
I came to work & realized that I was going to get my desk raised so I can stand at work again. Awesome. I spend the morning moving my 2 monitors and docking station to my side desk – not a desk for this sort of work – more for filling out papers. Then I waited…and waited…and waited. Finally I ping the Facilities person who replies feeling horrible because they didn’t show up to do the work, she knows people are upset, blah, blah blah. Maybe they will do it while I’m out of the office. I hope.
In between all of this, I’m dealing with company drama – earnings announcement combined with a pretty large leadership change resulted in a lot of running around for impromptu discussions about the company and the status of things. I love my manager and all but damn. He kinda likes the excitement of it all – so I think I get more forced examinations of these things than I ever have.
And all the while, I’m getting the running dialog about how much her arm hurts – and back – and she can’t breath because it hurts so bad. Maybe she should stand at her desk to work because maybe it would help – she just needs someone to pay for her to get a massage – oh, did she mention she bought more liquid diet stuff because even though she never felt it worked she liked how it made her feel – and she doesn’t know how she will afford rent this month but thank goodness she got the liquid diet stuff so that when she is homeless she’ll at least feel better.
*head bang on desk repeatedly*
Meanwhile I’m running down an executive instead of drinking coffee giving me a caffeine headache. She showed to the meeting she has been skipping for the past 3 weeks which is good – but we had technical problems which was bad. We ended up with a good discussion but I’m not sure how much of the stuff we resolved vs added more to the list. And all the while, the endless stream of babble came to me via Skype.
I got done with the meeting – got done typing up the minutes wondering how much of the accounting shit I got wrong. Then realized I needed food – like now. Off to get food. I needed to walk away from the office for a bit. Perfect.
I think going from the office to the food carts (2 blocks away) could be a video game. Your character must get down the elevator, past the panhandlers, past the people selling papers, past the Save the Children people wanting to shake your hand and say hello, past the bible thumpers with their handouts, to the bank, then navigate the food cart area where you will encounter more panhandlers who come to you as you wait for your food, people selling homemade things, people wanting to talk to you about things you don’t want to talk about. You must jump out of the way for the cyclists trying to ride through the thick group of people – and the dogs who want to greet you a bit too enthusiastically. Getting your food, you then have to make your way back through the same. Don’t get run over by a turning car! You win if you get back to your desk in record time with only your lunch money spent -and without stepping in liquid of questionable origins. Yeah, that about summarizes my adventures in lunch.
I get back to my desk to eat and finish my notes. I’m starting to get to a point where I’m exhaling. But that seems to not be in the cards today. More bullshit – more of the same – more desire to hit my head on the desk.
Apparently, I am not alone today at work. My favorite IT director came by looking like she could beat someone senseless. She’s relaying her story to me and my boss – as she is hitting him with my Dammit Doll. “Why are you hitting ME?” he asked. Her response was simply, “She” pointing to me, “would hit back.” True.
“God, your story sounds like what this group also did to me,” was my boss’s response to her rant. “At least you have her trying to help you,” was her comment back as she nods my direction. “Hey, I came from a world where you don’t want the phone to keep ringing, you want it to stop ringing so either fix it or educate them.”
“Does your team routinely take crack cocaine,” the IT director asked my boss.
“Yeah, they do seem to live in that world where they think they can help, ” he replied.
“We do help – and the unicorns help us most of all in getting shit done,” I added.
The image of unicorns and rainbows surrounding his team made my boss laugh until he almost fell out of his chair. And the IT director whined, “I want unicorns too!” as she walked away giggling.
Yeah, the day has degenerated to talk about unicorns and crack cocaine. I guess it isn’t just me that feels like this current crap needs to just stop already.
Here’s hoping the unicorns and crack cocaine derailed it for a while, because I’m all out of nice and understanding and patience.
But I’m not holding my breath.