Yeah – this is about it. I sometimes do not realize how much life stresses me the fuck out until I am in his presence – in his arms, with his lips on mine – and I feel my body exhale. I feel the stress leave my muscles. I feel the knot in my stomach and throat suddenly unknot and vanish. I breath deeply – soak in his energy – and feel more calm than I usually do as his energy calms my energy – and calms my soul.
I am realizing quickly that between my job – the stresses at home (not G, to be clear) – and the number of friends I have in crisis who decide I am their confidante and constantly bring negative into my world, only to tell me that I don’t understand wasting both my time, energy and carrying. So while I don’t always take care of myself first – ok, rarely do I do that – I am realizing that I need to do it – I need more times like what I have with SB – that deep, body exhale.
But until I figure that out, I am honored and thankful that I found a soul to calm my soul. I am happy to find a connection that makes me laugh from deep down inside. Who makes me melt when in his presence.
I feel sometimes that I smother people in my thank yous – in my appreciation of them. But I cannot help it – people like this are rare – rare for me and in my life. So when I find them, I can’t help but tell them how much I love and appreciate them.
Because he calms my soul.
He recharges my soul.
He makes me feel incredibly happy.
As we share a meal together – especially an amazingly special one like last night or on his birthday –
As we share a bottle of amazing wine – or spectacular scotch –
As we sit in bed, telling tales of life – laughing and being ourselves and showing our true selves –
Or even as we are curled up on the couch watching Games of Thrones under a blanket.
I am calm – I am in a good space.
Because I am loved.