Nineteen years ago, we stood in front of our family and friends, exchanged vows, signed a piece of paper, and became husband and wife.
Two kids – god, we were just kids – fresh from college – jumping in with both feet into “adulthood”. G was trying to find a job – I was four months into my first “real” job. We had just found and moved into our apartment before the wedding. Fuck, I don’t even think we had unpacked – what little we had was still in boxes. Yet there we were – nineteen years ago – getting married.
Robert Fulghum, in his famous book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” had a list of rule, and number 13 was:
“When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.”
I guess that’s what I felt like we were doing, holding hands, sticking together, and watching out for traffic while we went into the big world. Because there have been several points along the way where we have both looked at each other and wondered aloud if we were really adult enough to be doing something. I guess you do that when you grow up with someone – which is pretty much what G and I have done. We grew from the awkward teenagers just starting college, to the awkward college grads just trying to find out how this real world worked. We grew from living paycheck to paycheck to saving for and buying a house. We has survived family crisis – two infants – a VW bus – puppies – unemployment – grad school – and deaths in the family. Stick together and holding hands and loving each other was the way we did it. And laughing when we could.
Because let me tell you, nothing will test a marriage like having a 2 week old infant who will not sleep – who won’t nurse making each feeding a fun, complicated mess – and having it be 3am, having changed her 3 times in a row already only to hear her fill the 4th diaper…..well, you can get angry, you can cry or you can laugh hysterically….yeah, we laughed until we cried.
And that’s the thing – through it all – we love each other – we support each other even if that support is in the form of a kick in the ass – we laugh with each other – and we talk each other through things.
We have had a long crazy journey – one that turn an unpredicted left turn about six years ago when we decided to open things up – and then discovered we could also be poly without losing each other in the process. While most parts of this crazy road we have travelled has been easy and effortless, it is our own understanding of each other – our support and love for each other that has kept it from going astray even when it could have gone that way. Because even when things are going crazy and pulling each of us separate ways, we always make sure to reconnect, talk, and remember we are more than mom and dad, more than teacher and IT person, we are G and Emmy – and what we have is love and laughter.
So, G, here is to another year on this great ride we got together 19 years ago. May it continue to be full of love and giggles.
I love you!