Came across this quotation on a site this morning – and felt it. The last day and a half has been a fucking pain in the ass. And after dealing with one issue for about 10hrs yesterday – a drama someone created then dropped in my lap. While I’d love to believe I “invited it into my world”, I only did by virtue of the fact I am responsible for the entire committee and the art at the club. So, after listening to the bullshit for 8-9 hrs of my workday as one person decided to try to convince me he was the one in the right – I drove 45min in rush hour traffic to get the situation taken care of – the drove home – another 30-45min in rush hour traffic. Left for work at 6:30am last night – got home at 6:15pm. And after a month of drama build-up – and an ultimatum of sorts being issued to me by one of the drama bunnies (an ultimatum that would have further increased the drama for me) – I get a text: “thanks, Emmy”
I would love to say this is the only thing dumped on me yesterday, but I felt like taking on resolving this issue (which was in my interest to resolve) – it was like the universe signaled the others with drama to let them know my borders keeping their crap out was compromised – a sort of call to attack w/ their crap too. And they responded accordingly.
I’m so sick of other people’s crap.
So I had hit a point where I melted down. All of the crap building up – well, it had squashed me. And I was not in a pretty place. And all of my resolve to just shut up, keep it in – came tumbling out.
SB listened. He told me he loved me. And he kept reassuring me all was good.
Because I know how hard it is to be dumped on, I feel incredible guilt when I unload onto someone else. I alway feel like someone else shook me up – and like a soda that explodes, someone else, in an attempt to help, opens me up and gets sprayed.
I am thankful I have at least two people in my life who when I’m at this point listens without judgement – and loves me, knowing it is what I need.
And G’s attempt to help me find peace in my head….
“Imagine you are here….” was his message….
Yeah, being in a remote, beautiful part of Iceland…..it is attractive.