Came across this quotation on a site this morning – and felt it.  The last day and a half has been a fucking pain in the ass.  And after dealing with one issue for about 10hrs yesterday – a drama someone created then dropped in my lap.  While I’d love to believe I “invited it into my world”, I only did by virtue of the fact I am responsible for the entire committee and the art at the club.  So, after listening to the bullshit for 8-9 hrs of my workday as one person decided to try to convince me he was the one in the right – I drove 45min in rush hour traffic to get the situation taken care of – the drove home – another 30-45min in rush hour traffic.  Left for work at 6:30am last night – got home at 6:15pm.   And after a month of drama build-up – and an ultimatum of sorts being issued to me by one of the drama bunnies (an ultimatum that would have further increased the drama for me) – I get a text: “thanks, Emmy”

I would love to say this is the only thing dumped on me yesterday, but I felt like taking on resolving this issue (which was in my interest to resolve) – it was like the universe signaled the others with drama to let them know my borders keeping their crap out was compromised – a sort of call to attack w/ their crap too.  And they responded accordingly.

I’m so sick of other people’s crap.

So I had hit a point where I melted down.  All of the crap building up – well, it had squashed me.  And I was not in a pretty place.  And all of my resolve to just shut up, keep it in – came tumbling out.

SB listened. He told me he loved me. And he kept reassuring me all was good.

Because I know how hard it is to be dumped on, I feel incredible guilt when I unload onto someone else.  I alway feel like someone else shook me up – and like a soda that explodes, someone else, in an attempt to help, opens me up and gets sprayed.

I am thankful I have at least two people in my life who when I’m at this point listens without judgement – and loves me, knowing it is what I need.

And G’s attempt to help me find peace in my head….

“Imagine you are here….” was his message….

Yeah, being in a remote, beautiful part of Iceland… is attractive.

What do you think?

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