One of the elements of social networking I hate is how people express their opinions especially around subjects like parenting.
My sister-in-law (SIL) is great at demonstrating that skill around that subject. Give her a keyboard, a social media box asking “what’s on your mind” and she goes to town by creating some of the most judgemental updates I see. And always centered around how she is judging the outcome of the parenting situation.
For example, her recent rant was written in form of a letter to her daughter explaining how her daughter is never going to Disneyland like her “spoiled, bratty friends whose parents poop money”. No judgement there.
It pissed me off because my kids went with G to Disneyland last year, had a fucking blast, and made lots of memories. Are my kids spoiled? Sure if you judge it only by the fact we bought them tickets into the park. But I guess if you opened up the backpacks they were carrying to discover they contained all of their water for the day as well as PB&J sandwiches they ate instead of spending money on food stands, then I could see how she would call them spoiled. And then conclude that we poop money.
I’m not saying people cannot have opinions. She not a fan of the Disney institution – fine. Express that one. Against circumcision for boys? Talk about it. Pro-breastfeeding? Great. Be pro-breastfeeding.
But don’t judge the parents who don’t do those things. Wish they may have made another choice. Say “for us, I couldn’t do it”. Don’t assume that the outcome decision was made lightly – that there were no circumstances that drove that decision. I mean, we have friends whose kids go without allowance and lots of things because their parents are self employed – and they don’t get to do things like this often. So they saved either money for a year – saved the money they got from their family members for their birthday and holidays – did errands for neighbors to raise more funds – and when they hit their goal – they went to Disneyland – a special treat.