When I stumbled across this earlier, it sung to me.
I was just having this conversation last night – how much I do out of duty as a wife, as a breadwinner, as a daughter, as a mom, as a manager. And at times, I feel like that’s all I do – is worry that I am not doing enough. How many of the things I do come from that sense of obligation vs a place of love. Or how many times I say it’s because I love them when it’s because I feel I have to or should do it.
I recently had several of the obligations related to those titles change due to an unexpected situation. While it is all good, it really has left me realizing how not having to worry about that – not having that as a duty anymore – has challenged the way I have thought about myself.
It’s like I’ve told a few friends who have become moms. Don’t only be mom. Still hold onto the things that feed your soul because being mom is just another thing in your life – it is incredibly important and fulfilling in its own way – but your child’s life cannot fulfill you and your soul. So don’t give up soccer or your art or your music. Still go out and do those things so you don’t lose who you are. Because not only do you need to stay whole, you need your kids to see you are the person you truly are – not the person who tossed it all aside for them. It’s healthier that way.
Funny – guess I should remind myself take my own advice.
Call it a midlife crisis – instead of buying the fancy car, I’m realizing I need to do more to feed myself – recharge myself – and define myself less by how others label me. That doesn’t mean I am not Moe anymore – but it does mean I need to be Emmy as much as I am Moe. I need to separate what I do out of duty from what I do out of love – keep the love, dump more of the duty. Because doing what I do out of duty may be making others feel good, but it’s starving my soul.
Because like my health and taking care of my body, I need to also take care of my mind, my heart and my soul as they are just as important.
What a fucking epiphany.
What’s amazing? Knowing I have two men in my life that will read this and say immediately – YES – DO THAT! All I have to change is my own thinking.
Funny when you realize you are standing in your own way.