No, but if I exercise I feel less bad about having fries. Or that’s how it feels. I realized this morning that in 12hrs between last night and this morning – I did 3 workouts. I started Focus T25 this week after finishing P90x3. Holy fuck! Difference? T25 is 100% moving 100% of the 25 minutes. When I get done, my hair is wet with sweat and it’s rolling down my face. P90x3 was a lot of strength training and body sculpting if you will. You worked hard – but when you were done, your muscles were shaking. You worked just in a different way. Midway through the second workout this morning – it’s a double day – when my body was like “you are done”…..so I kept going. I mean 12 minutes are left – why is that going to stop me, that little pesky body-feeling-exhausted thing. No wonder I ran out of gas …. three sweaty, hard workouts in less than 12 hours. Wowza!
Today I am practicing this with those around me. I tossed out an explanation about something – trying to do the right thing, the right way. And boom! Major strife and drama around it. Key phrases were used to evoke the desired reaction from the right people. And all hell has broken loose in terms of conflict and high drama. Ironically, the two women in the discussion are the ones asking for DATA to see how big of a risk/problem this is in the system. Sure there are 500 errors, but if only 5 are related to the item some are choosing to make their own hill-to-die on – then that kinda kills the debate. What’s funny is the fact that I could say “look, you are idiots who are overreacting based on something that happened 2 years and 59 countries ago – come up to modern times and current information.” But at this point, logic and reason have no place in this discussion for them. So, I am choosing to say nothing. Part of me wants to just go back to doing what I have been doing – letting them pretend their safety net still works (when it doesn’t) – but I am choosing not to go that route either. Sometimes the best answer is to hold your tongue especially when the person that needs to hear it, needs to listen to it, is in a place where they will do neither.
The truth is, it is easy to keep my mouth shut right now because my head is not here at work. My head is on my weekend – my time tonight and tomorrow with him. Schedules have been such that our time together has not been as it normally is, but all for good reasons. But it just feels too long – the need to have time with him is great – to feel him, feel his energy, fall asleep in his arms. I cannot wait to spend an evening with him experiencing something he has told me about many times – to see it through his eyes as well. So looking forward to it – and him – and us.
Saw this it is said what I’ve been feeling. Lots of in my head wanting to get out, but not being able to do it – both hells in their own way. But once it is out there – something is on the page – it’s like an exhale……until the need arises again – and the words don’t come.
I leave you with the hedgehog from the Hedgehog Calendar site. They are way too creative – and this hedgehog is incredibly tolerant. Plus, how can you not smile seeing a hedgehog like this?