I posted this image a few weeks ago on one of my Monday posts. I liked it because it is a lesson some people need to learn. It’s kind of like a cook tasting the food as s/he is making it – needs to be done to ensure that is what s/he wants to serve. Words are the same way. Instead, most people let them tumble out of their mouth without a second thought.
Without a second thought until they get consequences to those words.
I have a friend I’ve known for a while. She and I are more like sisters than friends sometimes. One thing I am realizing however is how fucking judgemental she can be. And how that judgement injects a negativity into my life that I cannot handle. This has become more and more evident over the past few weeks. When I am in a very good place mentally and emotionally – feeling positive about life, it seems to be when I get the “OMG can you believe XYZ did ABC and then then they got upset and is oppressed and is being ridiculous like a bully throwing coconuts at tourists”…..yes, I’m giving a ridiculous example because most of the time I really don’t fucking care – it is ridiculous – and it isn’t her problem or my problem and I really don’t care. But even when I give an answer to such effect, it just keeps going and going and going.
I know that this behavior is a reflection of her feelings about her life. I do understand it isn’t about me or anyone being brought up, etc. And I also understand the need for a brain dump, but she isn’t asking for a brain dump – she’s asking for me to participate in her outrage, frustration and/or hatred. And well, that is not a place I can easily go. I believe the universe and karma will take care of people’s actions in the end. Given I am neither of those, I find it better to let go of it than to dwell on it. If I dwell on it, I feel it is like I’m jumping up and down, with my hand raised, asking the universe and Karma to “pick me next” for the negative repercussions. Uhm, no thanks.
Yesterday, I hit my limit. A series of what turned into text interrogations where she was not paying any attention to my response was simply “not my problem” or “not my gig” – led to a tirade that resulted in me basically telling her she was not respecting my feeling on the situation which is simply this “it is NOT my problem – it is NOT mine to influence – it is NOT mine to say or do anything about. Just as I don’t interfere in how she approaches her relationships -she needs to give me the same respect.”
In the end, she apologized. I accepted it. I do believe she is sorry. But damn. Taste your fucking words before you toss them at me. Do they taste funny? Do they taste like something you would like having served to you? If not – don’t serve them – don’t say them – don’t put them into the universe.
I get we are all human. I do. But I am reminded of something my Tantra teacher said quite frequently when talking about the words you put into the world and how they affect your energy – “is it true? is it kind? is it necessary?” If the answer is no to any one of them, shut up – swallow the words.
I know this is not an easy lesson for any of us – myself included at times. But if you are finding a lot of negative is happening in your life – and you want to turn it around – start here. Your mental state is only as positive as the words coming out of your mouth.
That’s just my opinion….