Kind of a weird location choice for me today. Especially since DJ went with me. Why? Because I had a dream last night that she died. I cannot adequately explain the circumstances – only that leading up to it, I felt people were being idiots – and I needed to get her out of there. Only to have her go into action – trying to protect us – and be killed. I woke myself up before I saw her body. And I woke up crying. Even as I told this a few times today was I keeping my tears at bay. It was that intense.
Now I did look it up – yay dream dictionaries – and found that it likely was a dream mourning her transition from kid to young woman. It was her birthday – and death is about transition. Sometimes it is a transition from life to death – but given her birthday, it was clearly about something more – her childhood to adulthood.
Wandering through this cemetery was an interesting experience. It was interesting hearing her take on death – her take on honoring the dead. She commented how much she loved the idea of the ashes being put into a root ball so that it could grow into something – ashes to life. I like how she thinks. We wandered. We talked. We admired. We chastised those not honoring the dead – honoring the space – by being loud and obnoxious and treating it like it was just a park not a place of memory, or honor.
I took my camera with my new lens – a Petzval Art Lens I got through a Kickstarter. It was created in 1840 by Petzval, so it is uber manual and has a wonderful history to it.