Not Feeling It

I woke up when I normally do – 5am, then 5:15, then finally up at 5:30am.  I did what I normally do – bathroom, get on workout clothes, and go work out for my p90x3 workout-of-the-day.  Then I followed it up with the usual – grab shower stuff, wake up kids as I work my way to the shower, and shower.  Post shower was also the usual – leave bathroom, pound on the kids’ doors again, then downstairs to make my protein shake – then get dressed.  I drink the first half of my shake as I get dressed – per usual – then shoes, stuff, and out the door to be at work by about 7:15am.

All of it was usual this morning.

Except today, I’m not feeling it.

I worked out only to have my body basically tell me to fuck off.  Ok, so sure, I have been pushing myself more than normal.  Sixty-eight days into the 90-day program, and I’ve lost 12 lbs with only diet tweaks – nothing overly dramatic.  According the the tape measure – adding the inches lost on the chest, waist, hips, thigh, and bicep, I’ve lost 19 inches in total.  All good stuff. All stuff that is driving me to make this last 22 day push really count for me.

But when my body isn’t feeling it – isn’t cooperating – is deciding to tell me to fuck off – well, it kinda messes with the head a bit.  Definitely puts me in a mood that is not a mood I easily recover from.

But then again, we could have a chicken-egg debate – which came first: the mood or the body telling me to fuck off?  I suspect a debate could be had and be compelling that I woke up with this mood.

All I do know – is my energy is off.  I don’t want to be at work.  I don’t want to think about the bullshit that is truly the same-shit, different-day.  I don’t want to go home and deal with my parents.  Or my dog who is in the 2-year-old toddler stage of behavior.  (To give you an idea, she thinks putting on your socks and shoes is your way of playing with her – so she tries to keep you from doing it.  Making her sit and stay while I did it – repeatedly correcting her like a toddler leaving time-out over and over and over again – resulted in this process taking 5 min instead of about a min. Yay boundaries and not giving in! Ugh!)  Or the cat….sigh….the elderly cat.

Maybe I need a break.

Maybe I need to break my rut.

Maybe I need to go outside, take a deep breath and try to start again.

Maybe I need a flask…..


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