Welcome back, he said.
They were the perfect words to describe last night – to describe this morning. To be back. To be together. To be curled up in each other’s arms was amazing – was right – was back.
I laid in bed this morning, and the emotion washed over me as we were entangled in each other’s limbs. My heart grew warm – I almost could not breath. It was right where I should be – right in a place I did not know I would ever be again. And the emotional and physical response was almost overwhelming.
I teased this morning that I knew he was happy because I was getting the smile from him I know is the true smile. He laughed at me as I explained the differences – explained the nuances. But he did not argue. “You make me smile so very much, baby” were his words, instead. I know the feeling of those words as I feel much the same way.
I’ve gotten the third degree from a few people who saw me in pain and think getting back together is the worst thing in the world. Sadly, they saw the pain but didn’t understand it – didn’t understand us – so missed the true point of it all.
I don’t really care. I love this man. I love the chemistry we have together. And I am glad it is where it is. We are not talking labels or any other things of the sort – but love and need and importance we have in each other’s life. It is telling. It shows, in my mind, how important we are in each other’s life. It isn’t about poly or mono or primary or secondary or any of that bullshit. It’s about love and respect and need and want and what is going to be best. And that – THAT is all that matters – our feelings – our hearts and our guts – fuck the brains for a while. They got us into this mess. Our hearts and guts are getting us out of this mess.
While not exactly it – I have been saying this in each password type for the past several months – Trust my heart.
And trust it I am.
And love him I am.
Because I so fucking love him – and I so have missed him.
I feel like I’ve found home again.