I taste him on my lips.
My skin feels his touch even when he is not here.
I buzz with his energy.
And I ride this amazing, breathtaking, scary, yet wonderful wave. I commit to memory each twist and turn, each time my fingers skim the waters. Each time, I scream in my head from the thrill of it all – the love of it all.
Riding the wave. The wave of energy. The wave of happiness. The wave of thrills and spills and giggles and all.
It is my metaphor for it. I will ride this wave – with him – with a grin on my face – a grin because this feels like what I should be doing, where I should be, who I should be doing it with. It feels as natural as breathing.
And while I may crash, I guess what I’m realizing is the crash isn’t the end. May just be a chance to sort shit out, then get back up there and try again.
But who cares about that. It’s a big scary thrilling ride – a huge amazing exchange of energy – a buzz unlike no other. I ride I would not trade. Because it feels too right, it feels so very good…..and that’s all that’s important.
So I will ride it – savor the buzz – him on my lips – and continue to grin away….