As I stopped at the light, I touched my lips. I still felt his on mine. Like they left a mark, a burn from where they met mine. I let the feelings wash over me – the memories – the feelings – the energy we have between us. And I had to remind myself to breath.
My body betrayed me. It, upon remembering those feelings, flushed with the heat of what would have come next. I could smell myself sitting there at the light – and feel the moisture pool between my legs.
I kept having to remind myself to breath. I had to remember to hold onto the good feels and not get pulled under by that undertow of doubt – that undertow of wondering. ‘Just feel’, I said aloud – be ok with this feeling and don’t negate it with worry or doubt of what may or may not be.
Life is funny sometimes. A friend who follows her horoscope sent me mine this morning. “You will have an important talk about relationships today”, it said. “Don’t shrink from it or hold anything in”, it advised. “Remember what happens if you hold it in, bad explosions”, it reminded. Funny how I did all of those things. In the moment, I forgot the advice. Instead following my gut – his lead.
As I sat there, waiting for the light to change so I could continue my drive home, I touched my lips – and I was happy to feel the warmth of the fire. Sure, I don’t know what will happen, but I was true to me and my feelings and that made me happy….
….as did the feeling of where his lips touched mine.