Breathe in the Air

Some days are still like before. My heart aching.  Even though we are talking and all, it still aches.  I try to tell myself it’s like a wound healing – it itches at times, hurts and feels worse than you know it is. It’s just the cost of healing – sometimes it gets worse before better.

But while in the midst of that healing – that aching – it’s hard to believe it is getting better.  It’s hard not to fight against those waves.  It’s hard not to just let them go over me – and be done with it.

It’s funny because while listening to music while working on project plans today, the following song came up with these words:

“Breathe, breathe in the air
Don’t be afraid to care
Leave but don’t leave me
Look around and chose your own ground
For long you live and high you fly
And smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be
Run, run rabbit run
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Don’t sit down it’s time to dig another one
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.”

So many of these lyrics were what I was feeling.  I’ll admit it – I had to change the song else risk crying at my desk.

While these days are fewer, I think that’s why these times when they do appear are harder.  They tackle me – and all I can do is try to balance on that big way – and ride it out.  No hanging on – just letting it ride out until it’s gone – and I can see light again.

What do you think?