“My heart is lighter for it.”
Truer words have not been sent via text message.
It’s amazing what a few hours, a good open conversation, by two people who hate things where they were can do to lighten the heart.
It really IS too bad we didn’t have this conversation sooner. But I think, emotions were high – fears were higher – and we got into our own way.
Today – today needed to happen. It was time. And it was so great in so many ways – that I cannot express all of the feelings I’m still processing.
I am happy for a lot of things –
Happy we spoke honestly and openly.
Happy we came from a good place – a sad place, a heavy place, but a place where we both did not want this anymore.
Happy we talked. Happy we talked about our lives – happy we reconnected with what was going on. Happy we were who we are – caring for this person we loved. Happy that did not change – for either of us.
This was one of the best Christmas things I could have gotten. I missed our friendship – our conversations. We chucked at each other when one would comment in a way that proved how much we still know each other – how little ground we lost.
My heart IS lighter.
I feel there is light, instead of dark.
I have missed him so very much in so many ways – that today, today was good.
Maybe tonight I will sleep.
All I know, is that sitting there, sipping coffee, talking, as we looked into each others eyes, into each other’s faces – it eased so many of my fears, my feelings of inadequacy, my feelings where I worried I had made up who this man was in my eyes…..that maybe he did not exists as I had thought. But in this moment today, those fears – those feelings – melted away…..
I hope this feeling of peace can continue.
Because this – this is a good place.