I Hate My Subconscious

I seriously do.

What it tries to tell me in my fucked up dreams I have – ones I remember vividly, so I know I should pay attention – well, it’s like it wants to poke me with a stick.

My dream last night was full of weird images – frisking to get a driver’s license to replace the one I have lost:

To see your driver’s license in your dream suggests that you are facing an identity crisis.

To dream that you are getting frisked suggests that you are feeling emotionally vulnerable. You have let down your defenses and your guard.

After the frisking and all, it was decided I was kinky.  (Guess I enjoyed it too much?)  And they decided that I was perfect for their “medicine”

If you are given the wrong medication, then you are being manipulated. Someone is trying to take advantage of you.

I didn’t take it because even in my dream I knew what was happening – someone was trying to take advantage of me.

The dream changed as I was leaving – I was entered into the middle of gun fight and me without a gun.  I was getting fired upon – trying to stay out of the way of the bullets because I knew it was not really directed at me.  Yet, they were focused on me.

To dream that you are shot or being shot at represents a form of self-punishment that you may be subconsciously imposing on yourself. You may have done something that you are ashamed of or are not proud of.

(see blog post last night)

I had a moment in the dream that was nice – a good interaction with someone that I need a good private interaction with  – we’ll skip that part because it turns back to crap soon after.

He had to step away – and the gathering we had gone back to had turned into a dance party.

To dream that you are attending or going to a dance indicates a celebration and your attempts to achieve happiness.

Then someone gets killed. I get pulled into helping them investigate, but all I did was see the body:

To dream about dead bodies implies that you are feeling detached from those around you. It may also mean that you are feeling emotionally drained.

Then my alarm went off.

Wow subconscious – thanks for making me dream about how I’m feeling right now.  Trying to chase happy. Trying to feel attached but instead feeling emotionally drained.  Trying not to feel vulnerable in public places 0r any places – but hating what trying not to feel that way makes me react to situation in public.  Then I kick myself, feel guilty and fire more shots at me than likely the person I feel I’ve treated poorly.

Why can’t my dreams be an escape from the crap?

** note – all quotes are from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary

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