It’s been an emotional weekend for me. High highs, low lows. And me reminding myself to be silent and breath and be grateful for the things I have around me.
We had water get into our basement and ruin a bunch of stuff, so a weekend of going through everything and toss shit was in order. Doing that for hours and hours is cathartic but also sucks as it gives me too much time with myself and my thoughts.
G came back from a run to Goodwill, when he found me sitting there – a song on my ipod causing too much to come bubbling to the surface, so I sat there in silent struggle trying to get ahold of my emotions. He came downstairs, saw me there, and sat next to me putting his arm around me.
“I hate that I still have these moments. I hate that I still have these times where my emotions tackle me from behind. I hate it. I should be done with this, right? It’s been two months, why am I not over it yet – why can’t I stop feeling this shit? I know why. He is the second person in my life who has ever look at me and saw me. He saw through my facades – my words – my silence – and saw me . You are the only other person who has ever done that – and I counted my blessings every fucking day that I was lucky enough to find a second soul – and now it’s gone.” An abbreviated version of my verbal vomit.
He pulled me into his chest – and said the best things ever.
“You don’t have to be over it. You don’t have to stop feeling. I love you – and you get to take as long as you need because you get the time you need. Do not let anyone make you feel like you are stupid for feeling this way because you are not. You get to feel this way.”
This is why I love this man.
Because like I said above – love is seeing all of someone’s magic, and reminding them of it when they feel they have lost it.