Welcome to my emotional roller coaster.

"For your safety, remain seated with your seat belts fastened, keeping your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the ride."

It’s funny how processing bad crap that happens in life can be like a roller coaster. The ups and downs – the sudden curves. Sometimes you don’t know if you should laugh or cry.

And the worst part sometimes is knowing that the ride is over when it’s over – no sooner or later. It will take as much as it takes – it will go as far as it goes. Just have to ride it out.

I both get that – and hate that.

I hate the ups and downs – the blind corners that suddenly make the ride go a different direction.

I hit one of those blind curves last night. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. But in the end, I feel sad. Not for what I lost, but for what he lost. The fact he felt he need to say what he did – the fact he felt he had to implode something he admits was good – the fact he still won’t find happy because it had nothing to do with me or any other woman – but everything to do with him.

But I am not done mourning the loss of what we had.

And I will – until the ride ends as it needs to end.

Tis what it is.