A Saturday in the Sun

No rain this weekend. That alone is a reason to celebrate. Though, I do love storms.

Today we went to soccer. Maggie the puppy whined like mad, and the girls struggled to play on a muddy field. They lost but had fun. And Maggie whined some more.

She has gotten big enough that the seat sensor in my car decides she needs a seat belt and beeps at me over and over again. Yeah, that’s annoying.

We napped until a friend came over, then we chatted, and teased DJ. She and I went to get dog food and talked – conversations that are often held in unexpected ways.

G went off tonight with his girl friend. And I stayed in. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop thinking of tonight as our night. My heart aches to think about not making that drive to his place, not having our time together full of laughter and serious talk and other kinky fun. I don’t know when it will stop.

A friend came over tonight. We talked about serious things, we laughed about things, we enjoyed the company. Not the same.

Another friend had offered to be my surrogate daddy. I so appreciate it. I miss it so very VERY much.

I have realized as talking to another friend tonight that I don’t love easily but when I do, I love hard and deep. I throw myself into the relationship. I want it to work and work to make it work. It is who I am but my downfall at times like this. Sigh.

So tonight, I try to enjoy the puppy on my lap, the fire in the fireplace, the laughter with friends. And focus on that.

Even if my heart aches.

What do you think?

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