I read the last text he sent to me, a few hours before it all ended:
“I love you too much!”
I replied with a smile. That line never bothered me because it reminded me of a similar line that G would give me.
Little did I realize, that was the end.
So what do I do with that – love you too much.
What do I do when reading that breaks the damn of emotions I thought was carefully confined.
Fuck! That’s the problem, you see. He fit. He filled a niche in my life I didn’t realize I had until he filled it. And now that niche is empty and cold. I wonder if he feels any of what I feel about this all – or if he is just on to the next woman.
While I don’t think it would be that, I never thought it would end like this either. Shows you what I know.
I don’t know. All I know is I’m raw – and it hurts – and I can’t keep the stuff upper lip I may try to maintain.
So tonight, I let the tears flow.
And kick myself for reading what he wrote.
And wish I could hate him. Fuck it would be easier.
But there is nothing easy.