I will miss his energy.
I will miss his kisses.
I will miss the bites on my neck.
I will miss his humor.
I will miss calling him Daddy.
I will miss hearing him call me Baby.
I will miss being curled up with him in bed.
I will miss hearing him voice as he is in awe of how I am dressed.
I will miss our mornings after a night together.
I will miss the stripes on my thighs.
I will miss that whippy bitch of a cane he has.
I will miss his stories.
I will miss his touches.
I will miss his pinches.
I will miss the intimacy we shared.
I will miss him so very much.
My heart hurts and is numb at the same time.
I am reminding myself to breathe as I go through my day.
I don’t care about anything else – I care that I created him such pain that he left me.
I care that he felt like he needed to save himself from me.
I hate that I am poly.
I hate what that meant to him.
I hate that I caused him pain.
I hate that I shared my special places with him as it means I will spend my time there longing for him – crying for him.
I hate crying.
I hate feeling this way.
I cannot do this again.
I have given him so much of myself – more than anyone else except G.
I don’t feel like I will recover from this one.
I feel the walls go up over my heart – over my soul.
I am done.
I will miss it all.
It’s going to take a long time for me to get to a point where I don’t hurt – where I don’t cry.
Because I will miss him with my heart and soul.
Despite that he has hurt me.