We had a date. Dinner, music, and a night curled up together soaking in each others energy and stealing kisses as we roll around and reposition as we sleep. A simple plan for a night we were both looking forward to having.
It’s funny how the best laid plans can go from great to spectacular.
I think we both needed to blow off some steam. I think we both needed each other to make it occur the way it needed to happen.
There are certain moments when you are with your love and you see that spark reignite – a spark that has been there but needs some help to take hold of the fire. And that was a moment I felt and saw this weekend.
Life throws you curve balls. Life can be a rat bastard and take from it people who you care about the most and count on for those adventures, those other ways of blowing off steam, and those who are family not just friends. And in that moment, the fire can burn low as you recover – as you find the new center by which life is measured, as you find a new way to live without the presence of this important person.
Friday night, I saw this spark reignite. I saw SB in his environment. I saw him re-embraced by his “people” if you will. We went to a concert where the music ended up playing a great background to our sexual tension as he pinned me to the wall and groped and kissed me hard – biting my neck and making me not care. He could have stripped me bare and fucked me there – and I would not have stopped him.
Later, we went to a fundraiser after the concert. It was late – but we were still going as was the fundraiser. Even before we walked into the bar, SB was talking to people he knew. We walked in, and more people said hello, checked in, wanted to know who was I, and embraced me as their own. We drank a few good beers, we danced, we talked, and I got to see that fire – that fire within him reignite. It blazed bright. And made me smile. I felt blessed to be there with him as I saw him reengage and become happy seeing his friends. And I saw his friends so very happy to see him.
We drove home after the bar closed. They were still going strong despite the alcohol being shut down, but we were tired. We joked on the way home that I would tell the cop I was stroking his cock or something of the like – that was why he was driving erratically. While we had been drinking a little, our loopy mood was due to the energy drunk and being tired.
We curled up in bed together – loopy but giggly, tired and happy. We both vibrated with the energy that was pulsing through us.
It’s been over a week since that night – since that night I saw that happy-black-lab smile emerge from SB’s depths. And I am afraid that since then, a dark cloud floated over both of us. Life happened, in short. Too much going on – not enough spare time – not enough time to spend together. And that glow – that energy drunk – lead to a spectacular crash.
I look forward to re-discovering that smile. I can feel his joy in the upcoming plans. I can feel his love. And I will soon feel his Bad Daddy ways. I cannot wait. I cannot wait for those moments. They cannot come soon enough.