Brain Dead

I worked for a CIO once who, when asked how his night had been, replied simply, “I sat on the couch to take off my shoes and see if there was a baseball game on only to find that I had been watching the TV guide channel for an hour.”

Brain dead.  He had worked a hectic day with lots of problem solving and crisis management – only to find himself not unwinding with the game but by mentally shutting down his brain to the point where he was watching tv listings scroll by.
That is how my last few days have felt.  I forced myself yesterday upon getting home to grab my beer, grab a pair of clippers, and go outside to weed. I needed some sort of physical release.  What I found was I was the mental exhaustion had made me physically exhausted.  Had I been able to, I would have just curled up in the hammock and slept.
It’s funny how something that can be both frustrating and rewarding can wring you out the way it can.  So last night, I weeded, had a beer or two, ate a meal partially from the garden, watched some TV, took a nice bubble bath, cuddled with the rabbit, then curled up and slept like the dead.  Even today, I still feel exhausted from yesterday.  I hope and pray that we do not have the fiasco of the last few days.
As my gchat status says right now, “dreams of Ukuleles” – I’m dreaming about recharging today. I’m dreaming about escaping the chaos of the week.  I need it.
Until then, I’m working on self care. I’m taking the offers of those who love me when they offer to take care and comfort me.  And between  it all, I hope to recharge.  And I hope that the chaos of the rest of the week does not explode today.  ‘Cause I’m not sure I’m up for it.

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