Every few days, I’ve been having these dreams. I’m in my house – in either the attic or the basement (never seems to be any other place) when I stumble across a room. A room I don’t remember seeing before. A room that makes me giddy to have found it.
Sometimes these rooms are sparsely occupied with things. When they are, they usually have a box or two – an object or two like a dresser or a chest. After after I explore what is in there, I am happy at the possibilities this room creates in my world.
Sometimes they are huge rooms filled with wonderful objects – and I am in awe as I explore it. I get giddy by what I find in there – forgotten things, things I didn’t realize I had. And as I find things, I decide what I need to reclaim and put back into use.
Sometimes these rooms are occupiable meaning it’s like another bedroom fully furnished or a library or a den.
But each time – no matter where I am – attic or basement – as I open some door that looks like it’s not worth opening – as I expect rats or trash or something like that – I instead find something that solicits a “wow” and a “why have I never opened this door before?!”
I’ve been having these dreams with these recurring themes for a few months now. Sometimes a few times a week – sometimes more time will go by. Each time I wake, think “I keep having these types of dreams, I should figure out what they mean” – only to have them fade away until the next time.
The other day, a flash of one went through my mind – enough to evoke the memories of the others. So I went to look it up – to sort it out. Because, for me, my subconscious keeps these dreams in my head if they mean something to me. I have learned this over time.
And what did I learn?
I’m happy. I’m finding myself again. I’m finding out more about myself, and I like it. Some of the things I’m finding are representative of sexuality and the like. Some things I’m finding are places where past feelings and memories are stored – so finding them is significant. And finding them and being happy I found them – well, that’s really good news.
The locations are also interesting. The fact I’m either in the attic (which can represent spirituality, my mind, my connection to my high Self – it’s also where you struggle to break through things) or the basement (which can represent intuition, primal urges, animalistic desires) – neither are surprising given how life events have gone. Both areas are where you store things away – so it’s no surprise I’m making wonderful discoveries there given in my awake life I’ve been making some fun discoveries with the help of SB.
G and I were talking this weekend as I had an opportunity to take the tantra classes again. When he, out of curiosity, asked why I wanted to take them again, I explained simply that I felt (as weird as it may sound) they led to my turning shit around last year. I felt like I was finally finding happy and content again. Without missing a beat, he said “yes – tantra was totally responsible for that.”
It’s funny to reflect that during that time I was having a lot of dreams about purging – cleaning things up – and people would show up in my dreams that were helping while some were not. It was this theme that was weird, but significant given a good part of the tantra class is about cleaning up your energy – and keeping it clean. My subconscious was taking that to heart.
Now, I’m dreaming about rediscovery. I dream about wonderment of what I’m finding. I’m celebrating what I’m finding. I’m happy and surprised and all of the other words that pretty much are summarized by “wonderment”.
And what I’m realizing as I explore my subconscious while awake – is like in my dreams, I have no real tolerance for those who try to suck my happiness away. While I care about people, I will not let them suck me into their dramas. I will listen – I will offer help if they ask – but I refuse to get dragged into it with them. I don’t have time for one sided. I don’t have time for constant negativity and unhappiness.
Because, to be honest, I am enjoying smiling like I’m the Cheshire Cat. I enjoy giggling and laughing and being happy. I love mutual love and support and hugs and all. I like seeing people getting out of their own way to find their own happiness – hell, I’ve got pom-poms to wave as I cheer them onto success.
Rediscovery and discovery is powerful. And I like living in the sun.