DJ asked me this as I was making dinner. I had just put dinner in the oven as she asked.
“Well, let me explain my day. I sent an email to a person I work with asking ‘what time will the food come out of the oven?’ Easy question – right?”
“So imagine if she answers like this: ‘What do you mean what time will it come out of the oven?? How can I answer that when there are crumbs on the counter?!? And this knife?? What am I supposed to do with that? You ask me about what’s in the oven?!'”
DJ is about ready to fall over from laughter.
“So I ask her, ‘Well, you just put the food in the oven, so I assume you know when to take it out. Are you saying it isn’t?’ Then she responds…” I pick up the mango on the counter, “‘But think about the MANGO!! Don’t you ever think about the MANGO? Do you not understand how hard it is to be a MANGO??'”
“The Mango…” DJ giggles before I continue.
“And meanwhile, while she is going off on all of the mangos and the crumbs and the knife, my cohorts and I are looking at each other wonder ‘WTF is her problem? Why can’t she just tell us when it will be out of the oven??'”
DJ is crying at this point now.
“So while she is ranting about the mango, blaming me for the crumbs, I decided that I was done. So I emailed her and our peers simply this: ‘Look, you are just going to bitch and moan when the thing comes out of the oven and we aren’t ready for you. So why don’t you cut the crap, and let us help you instead of tossing us under the bus by trying to distract the world with the mango. Seriously, if you want to be successful, help me help you by telling me when the fuck it comes out of the oven already!'”
“What did she say,” asked DJ as she is wiping away her tears.
I picked up the mango again and said “‘But think about the MANGO!!!’ Seriously, she misses the point. So I sent it, and I left. I was done. I have done.”
“How do you work with these people?” DJ asked as she laughed.
“I don’t know some days. I really don’t.”
“Damn cats.” DJ knows my analogy for what I do.
And now she will associate Mangos with it too.