“So, I don’t know how to bring this up but, I heard that……”
“Well, I’m just concerned because, I saw…..”
At least, once a week, I get a concerned person coming to me to express concern about something happening in one of my relationships. Each time they don’t tell me something I didn’t already know. Yay good poly communication!
So I usually surprise them by filling in a few gaps in their knowledge – gaps that are not private, but gaps that show that I’m totally in the know.
“But to me, it really looked like….”
“Are you sure, because ….”
The interjection of opinion – perception of their own insecurities – always ensues after I prove I know. And I make it clear that I don’t care. I have told people that I don’t care. I have pointed out that my relationship with the men in my life are not the same as others. I have commented that just because I’m poly capable doesn’t mean everyone in my life is automatically poly as well. I’m the one who can be poly if the right people are involved. I point out that relationships aren’t all the same thing.
“But but but…..”
It’s amazing to me when people do this. When they try to project their own dramas or insecurities into my relationships. When they try to make more drama where there isn’t any. It makes me wonder…..
……what is wrong with just letting me be happy? What must they do this under the guise of “helping”?
After being really annoyed about this most of the day yesterday when the latest onslaught seemed to happen, I was venting about this to G. I was verifying that I wasn’t missing something – that I wasn’t being overly optimistic to the point where I was blind. And even before he answered, I felt this calm sweep over me. I felt like I didn’t even need to know his answer.
I felt at peace that the men in my life are who they say they are.
I trust them both. I trust their word. I trust their actions. I trust them.
And it doesn’t matter what is said by whom – they can all fuck off because I am loved and cared for – and they are trusted.
So they can keep their drama to themselves and keep it in their own relationships.