I started my week off like this:
It’s funny how events can create sort of a dominio effect that then creates a vortex by which the happy gets sucked out of the world.
And it resulted in this:
Seriously, I went to bed at like 8pm because I was just done. I curled up under the comforter with my teddy bear and just read – a sappy story that I knew would end well. It was all I had strength for. It was what I needed.
I woke up today feeling like…
Needed to be my mantra.
And it was.
But the day still sucked. And the crap from the day before kept lingering.
In the middle of the crap, a shiny star emerged.
Thank whoever for text messaging when you can’t talk.
He said what I need to hear – my sweet SB.
He reminded me of what happiness I had found during the weekend….
….memories of me and SB….the overnight foreplay……the python-ing in bed. The giggles over hearing he told his family that he had a naked married woman in his bed he wanted to get back to. Feeling right at home in his bed while I slept and waited to feel his body next to mine again. That moment when he curled up next to me. Yeah…..that great moment.
It all came back.
Then I realized that I needed to adopt this as a mentality:
Because if people don’t get me, I can’t get it for them. I am who I am. I know who I am not. If people put their shit on me, well, that’s their issue not mine. Take your elephant with you when you leave because you brought it, not me.
At the end of the day, I believe this:
I believe it is about grabbling life…..and owning it – and believing that good people – people who get me – exist. Hell, I found two that get me. That appreciate who I am.
I’m a lucky girl.
I just need to remember that.
And fuck the rest.
Thank you G and SB.
Love you both.
A lucky LUCKY girl.