One of my dad’s favorite stories to read to us growing up with the story of Chicken Little. For those unfamiliar, the gist is simple – an acorn falls on his head, he freaks out and is convinced it was a piece of the sky and convinces a group to follow him on a quest to raise the alarm with the king because the sky is falling. In the end, a fox eats them.
This has been week. I’m not Chicken Little or Henny Penny or Ducky Lucky or Loosey Goosey or Turkey Lurkey. But because I’m the one trying to say “STOP! The Fox is gonna eat you if you keep going with bad info!”
We go live each month in one or more countries on the new system. We have been working on this process for MONTHS! Yet everyone decided that Monday – less than 1 week before go-live – they were going to start freaking out about everything. An acorn falls from the tree – and they are going to die because the sky is falling.
I have been walking around work – all week – picking up acorns they were hit by and tossing it in their faces. “Hey you idiot – this is an acorn – nothing more. Talk to me when it’s a branch or the whole fucking tree.”
This tactic works most of the time. Until someone has made their way closer to the king (aka the Executive in charge of the project), then it becomes a harder tactic. Trying to convince your boss and his boss that this is not the issue others are making it out to be is difficult. And it is more difficult when I don’t have a real issue to swap it with.
This has been my week.
Signs Emmy is about done with idiocy at work:
1. Muttering under breath as I am briskly walk to a destination.
2. The word Fuck is every other word in my explanation.
3. Sidelining people is a request I’m making several times during the day.
4. Hiding in the cafeteria to get work done is required.
5. My whiteboard is covered with lists.
6. I stop mid-argument & turn to my boss dumping the issue on him as I walk away.
7. Tact when calling out people is gone. It is replaced by a 2×4 to the head.
8. I stop responding to emails.
9. I start cutting ranters off at the knees (see #7 for technique.)
10. I have to preapologize to my team for being even more direct than usual.