I love it when he put his hand on my shoulder as I was talking about my family and the stress of with my brother. The caring look in his eye – his pre-emptive support of me while I talked about the subject – it took me by surprise. And I realized how lucky I was to have him in my life.
The fire last night smelled like pumpkins – raw, freshly carved pumpkins.
I hate sleeping alone. I miss having someone to reach out to on those nights G is gone to see if they can stay with me. Makes me sad to feel alone.
I have decided to give up things I cannot pronounce to see what happens. Weird I know. But I am making our snacks. I am making my lunch. No diet cokes for me. And if the coffee shop can’t tell me what is in it – exactly – then it’s a straight up coffee for me. I need a radical change. But I’m not giving up beer.
The camera store on the first floor of my building is going out of business. I will not go into the store for fear of spending money. Yet I need to because I have once again misplaced my card reader.
I need a heavy scene. I need lots of pain to process. I need to process it by laughing and swearing and going to a place that lets me let go. I think once is not enough.
My dog is getting old. He limps and he gimps and he can’t walk up steps. Or not easily walk up steps. I hate to think how things will be in 6 months or a year. He is 11. Labs don’t make it to 14 unless they are lucky. I love that dog. I can’t handle the thought of it.
G taught his kids about circumcision as part of Judaism in social studies. DJ wondered aloud with her friend Miss O what they did with the foreskins. DJ thought they should save them and make a pelt or a hat or a scarf. Yep, she’s my kid.
My new boss was telling us the possible seating chart as we shift around. He told the team he had offered me and the cohort that annoys me to share a cubicle. He was joking. Instead he put her far away from me. Thank GOD! She drives me nuts!
My other cohort asked for a cane to smack someone around the other day. I swear she is a Domme at home.
I think I should take erotic photos and specialize in men – naked men. Why? Because no one does it and lots of people complain about it. One male photographer explained he just doesn’t have the repoire. Oh, I think I would.
I have fallen in love with the writings of Christopher Moore. Hilarious guy with unique stories. Downloaded another one of his trilogies last night.
Been having some interesting talks with people lately. A Dom who is pretty funny – self aware of his crazy factor in choices of subs, but funnier than hell in how he approaches things. Been kind of an interesting past week.
Have you ever looked back on a part of your life and felt like a fucking idiot? Yeah, me too.
I want a new tattoo – just don’t know what.
There are still times I want to run away from home.