Over the weekend, my brother hit a low point. He mentioned suicide in passing – just that he can understand why someone would do it – and ended up in the ER under psych evaluation. My parents took him to their house after it was clear he needed to not be around his wife. (Yes, this the wife that left then came back.)
I have so much anger at his wife right now (excuse the tangent). Anytime the going gets rough in their relationship, she bails. And she doesn’t just bail, she makes a show of it. She pulls everyone into it. She makes him look like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. She will tell him he is worthless and the biggest piece of shit on the planet. And she calls the family – and tells us to “deal with our brother” or “deal with your son”. She calls his friends – and tells them this. She posts shit on FB. She does everything in her power to convince people she is the victim. She has no interest in fixing anything. She just wants the “poor girl” messages. She wants to be the victim.
Does my brother have a drinking problem? I think he definitely has the disposition to having one. Our entire family is filled with alcoholics. It’s in our DNA, or so it seems. But I have only ever see him abuse alcohol when he feels he has nothing else to lose. It’s almost like he takes the “if you think I’m a piece of shit – I’ll show you I am” approach to drinking.
When he told his wife he was going to find a treatment center, she rejected him. “See, I knew you were a piece of shit.”
Apparently she is back on board for treatment. My bro told her that he appreciates it, but they will see what is best when he returns. I hope he realizes that what is best for him is to boot her. He needs love and support – not the other BS he has been getting from her.
He has been with my parents since Saturday. They are supporting him right now. My other brother has cried uncle. He has been dealing with all of this off and on for the past 9 months. He realized it was time to step away when he almost didn’t answer the text my SIL sent about my brother wanting to commit suicide. She has cried wolf that many times. To quote him, “How fucked up have things become that I get a message my brother may kill himself, but because it was from her – I almost ignored it.”
Tonight, he will spend the night – and tomorrow, I will take him to the airport and send him to treatment.
I hope he uses the time to find happiness and value in himself.