Wide Awake

I’m sitting here in my hotel room which looks out onto the ocean – listening to the waves crash against the shore and rocks.

Oh, and it’s 2am.

I have nothing on my mind really.  Just had a relaxing day – a day where my brain isn’t ready to sleep yet.  Nothing in particular is bouncing around.  Nothing bad.  Nothing upsetting or worrisome.  I’m just awake.

I started taking a Tantra class four months ago. It’s White Tantra – Skydancer Tantra.  While most people associate Tantra with sex, Tantra is about energy – it’s about connection with the world and people.  It’s about chakras and meditation and energy – and using it to heal yourself – to fix your woes – and share it with others.  The latter is where it comes into sex.  And there are exercises where you use masturbation, for example, to release energy or boost it.

While I’m generally a horrible meditator, I have found that some of the exercises cause me to vibrate with energy.  Not in a bad way – just in a “wow – I’m awake” way.  Or “Wow – I’m happy” way. The last time this happened, it was right after a class where we learned to open ourselves up in a meditation.  I had some much going through my body that I could not sleep.  If I were not in an unfamiliar area, I would go outside and walk around, barefoot, in the grass or sand.  Give this energy back to the earth.

I meditated several times today – just sitting on the beach – listening to the waves.  And apparently absorbing more energy that I meant to.  Ooops.

I should mention at this point that I’m continually a skeptic about stuff like this.  Ask my chiropractor who uses a lot of Eastern Medicine techniques and asks my body stuff.  I hate it when he nails something when I give him nothing.  It’s insane sometimes how he can fix stuff.

I was open to learning about this kind of tantra – but like with my chiropractor, I didn’t expect it all to work.  I was open, but skeptical.  Needless to say, I am becoming less skeptical as time goes on.

Except when it’s 2am and I need to sleep and can’t.  Not to self, ground before bed.

My day at the beach was a bit different than I expected.  The fog really didn’t clear most of the day.  While we had beautiful weather, it was hard to get good photos with that lingering fog.  So I wandered the Pacific Coast Highway – chastised myself for my 4 shot latte that kept me higher than a kite – and just sat on the beach and relaxed.  I read. I drew a bit. I took photos. And I watched the surfers taking advantage of what, I was told, were big waves.

I ate a perfect beach burger.  The owner of the joint has a fabulous attitude.  When I asked him how his day was going, he said “I live in paradise selling cheeseburgers – who can complain?”  Amen to that.

Ok – back to try to sleep.

What do you think?

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