My Subconscious Is Scary

My subconscious likes to give me hints as to what is really bugging me by forcing me to have weird ass dreams.  Weird ass dreams I remember.  Weird ass dreams that stick in my head until I write them down and think- wow – no mystery as to what I’m thinking about.

My first dream this week was this:

It started out that I was screwing around with a friend on some sort of Japanese like game show.  I was there for support, but we all started having fun trying to see if we could do this one challenge.  I was watching, but holding one of the suction cup arrows while my friend had one he was supposed to fire at a person zigzagging back and forth.  He kept missing, so the last time he tried I flung the arrow at the guy as the same time he fired – and I hit him but with some debate.  Since they were filming, we decided to resolve it by checking the footage.  After lots of time and mess ups, we found out the camera guy had missed it.  But it was no big deal.
From there, I was on a softball team.  We were getting ready for the season by training.  We were running through the woods – through thick underbrush – we were on bikes – we were splitting up then rejoining in spots.  For some reason, in the middle of it, people kept saying I was losing stuff I had been carrying.  They kept trying to hand it back, but what they were handing back was not what I was losing.  It was similar but different.  I kept trying to say that it was not mine, but they kept saying they “fixed it just for me” and kept trying to make me take it.  I ended up with one thing that I kept that they kept saying was mine to keep.  It was all that was left. 
We got done with the training and ended up at a upscale grocery store – like one that has a deli sort of mixed in with it all.  I was hungry and needed to get some things, so I did my shopping – talking to the staff about what I was buying to make sure I was getting the right thing.  As I’m standing in line, I spot a case that looks like it has brownies in it.  Cool, I think – I want a brownie – I’m craving it. And they are the perfect size.  But when I grabbed it, it morphed into a sandwich.  I debated whether or not I should still get it – and in the end grabbed the sandwich because it seemed like the better choice. 
Now it’s time to pay.  The cashier starts arguing with me about everything I am trying to buy – things I need, things I spent time confirming was okay for me to buy, and now I was being told no.  To everything.  I argued. It escalated to the point where someone came to enforce the point.  I was not allowed anything I need or want. Neither is being met. We’re about 2/3 of the way thru what is on the conveyor and I throw my hands up and say “forget it – I’m not buying anything – I’m leaving.”  The response to my exclamation is argument and more debate. More about how it’s my fault not theirs.  I clearly misunderstood. Plus, how can I expect them to give up what they don’t want to give it up. I’m the selfish one. 
And that’s how it ends.
There is no mystery as to what that was about.
The next night, I had another dream.
I was at work.  I work with a woman who wants everything her way. If she disagrees with you, she spends all of her time trying to convince you that you are wrong versus facing the facts.  About 5 months ago, I took over a project from her.  She spent a lot of time during the “transition” wanting me to replicate exactly what she does.  The problem is? Her style is different than mine – completely different.  
In my dream, she starts verbally attacking me for not doing what she wanted me to do – to not making the same choices she would make – for not managing things the way SHE would manage it.  She was going nuts in her accusations – and no matter how much I tried to reason with her, she would not stop. It was like it added fuel to her fire.
Finally , I got pissed and walked out. I immediately called our manager telling her I needed to talk to her.  She was coming into the office – and she said she would talk to me first thing.
When she got there, she immediately went to my cohort who dragged her into an office for several hours.  The more they were in there, the more angry I was getting.  I know this person. She will talk you to death until you give in.  So I knew how this would end.
When our manager came out of the office and grabbed me, she told me I had 10 minutes of her time.  That was all.  And no matter what I said, she simply was out to keep from having conflict.  She wanted me to bend so that she didn’t have to referee.  Even though it was clear that my cohort was wrong and should not have done that to me.  The avoidance of conflict was more important than simply doing the right thing.
And it pissed me off.
I think I ended the dream with telling her to give the project back to the cohort if I was going to be told how to do it.  She could just do it herself.  
And that’s how it ended.
Again, no real mystery about what’s bugging me.
I wish I could sort out what I need to do to make these things stop.  I mean, while entertaining to see my subconscious trying to help me – it’s a bit scary really.
Does anyone else have these dreams??

One Comment Add yours

  1. I get conflict dreams often – I am a director at a place. Sighs.

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