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I had a date.

A real date.

A movie date with popcorn and doors opened for me.

It was sweet.

The minute his hand landed on my knee, I felt that familiar stir in my loins.

I felt a comfort.

I felt the urge to curl up with my head on his shoulder.

I felt safe.

And while I love the start of relationships. That excitement and anticipation – I also fear it.

Why?

Because I’m cracked.

And while I can hold water, I am, rightfully so, afraid of liking and wanting too much.

I’m afraid of making another mistake –

– a mistake of trusting someone with my heart only be disappointed.

Pain is something I crave physically,

But I can no longer handle mentally and emotionally.

I am cracked.

I need to mend.

But I fear I never will.

What do you think?