I’ve been fighting this cold that has been lingering – unwilling to take root in my body and unwilling to give up trying either. It has been a common occurrence lately that I wake up – throat itchy like the cat had stuck his head down it while I had been sleeping it – and in need of water.
Most of the time, I get the water and go back to bed, falling asleep immediately.
Last night, my brain was awake and ready to talk to me. I read for about an hour, and just as I was falling asleep……
“Moe, I don’t feel very good.”
Indigo went to school yesterday but was not feeling well. In our defense, Indigo loves to be sick. She loves to “not feel well”. So we have a checklist of things to go through whenever she is “sick” to determine if it is truly an illness versus her playing sick. She passed the checklist.
Then ended up napping through lunch.
And after school.
And on the drive home from school.
But again, I must say that outside of sleepiness, she had no fever. The fever showed up last night.
I gave her some ibuprofen and got her comfortable on the couch. She was wide awake talking about how she was sick – and she tried telling us – but we wouldn’t listen. Yeah, fine parenting moment.
I hooked her up with something on Netflex, plopped down next to her, and tried to get her settled down again.
At about 3:25am, I decided I needed to go to bed. Today is going to be a long day – and sleep would be good.
I laid down and my brain said:
Pssst…..while you are awake, I want to review a few thing with you.
“No, Brain, go to sleep. I’m tired and today is going to suck if I don’t get at least a few more hours of sleep. Don’t do this now.”
You know, work has been really crazy lately. Have you considered that maybe you need to do this or do that to keep from getting caught in the political shit storm?
“Hmm….not a bad idea. You know, if I…..Hey! You are not going to lure me into a conversation with you tonight. While you have an interesting idea there, I need sleep. SLEEP! Go to sleep!!”
I’m really surprised you can sleep after your talk tonight with your friend. Damn did you take the filter off between me and your mouth. I’m proud of you, but DAMN! You let it all out, didn’t you?
“Yeah, I don’t want to think about that. Not my finest moment.”
But it was fun to watch….nothing like busting that wall down where those thoughts had been stored securely and letting them spew out.
“I was being a bit too honest, I’m afraid, with those things. Yeah, thanks for making me think about that part of my evening. Fuck.”
Hey, I’m here to help. And did you see the look on your friend’s face when you said a few things. Wow! Well done getting that reaction.
“Sigh…..you are in rare form tonight. Look, I already feel bad about it, why must you rub salt in that wound?”
I’m here to help. I mean, what good are these 3:45am discussions if I can’t make you over think things. And then there….
“Lalalala….I’m reading now…..I can’t hear you……lalalala”
This book is pretty good. Yawn. I think, I will enjoy a break for a while….YAWWNNN….
I start falling asleep only to hear….
“NO! Go to sleep. Don’t make me get the book back out!”
But, but, but…..
“Look, I don’t want to talk. I am done talking to you. You’ve been doing too much thinking as it is as I’m trying to sort out what I need right now from life – about the shit going on in it, and about what I need. And so far, you have done nothing more than add commentary where there doesn’t need to be commentary. Just leave me alone, okay? I need a break. I NEED SLEEP!”
Geesh, you are a bitch when you are grumpy, aren’t you?
I grab the book again.
No, no….I’m kidding….really, I am…..
…..oooo….I like this part….it’s when…..zzzzzzzzzz
See. My brain hates me.
Now, where is my caffeine IV drip?