6am – Wake up & shower
6:30am – Wake up the kids.
6:45am – Yell at the kids to get their asses out of bed.
6:55am – Make and drink coffee.
7:00am – Warn the kids they will be left if they don’t get up and get down the stairs.
7:15am – Go to work.
7:30am – Arrive and start going through email from the overnight crew
7:35am – Try not to wonder if the ops guys know what the fuck they are doing.
8:00am – Meeting #1 – the meeting where the former PM will try to tell me what I need to do simply because my style does not match her style.
8:15am – Wrap up the meeting because everyone is just hearing themselves talk.
8:30am – Go across the street to the coffee shop to get my 3rd, 4th and 5th shots of espresso.
9:00am – Say “good morning” to the first cohort arriving to start their day.
9:30am – Meeting #2 where I will be forcing my cohort to take responsibility for his project.
10:00am – Wish the meeting would just fucking end already.
10:30am – Flee the room.
10:35am – Find out how my architect is fucking up my day. Is she working or pretending to work? Yeah, probably the latter.
11:20am – Go grab some lunch.
11:45pm – Get annoyed that people keep bugging me while I try to eat.
12:00pm – Give up and just realize I’m going to simply bill them for my lunch hour.
12:30pm – Go through emails looking to see if the 100 new messages actually have value. Yeah, no.
1:00pm – Go down and visit the war room. Wonder why I decided to wear long sleeve shirt when I am going to spend time in the sweat shop, I mean, the war room. Oh hell, it smells like sweat and BO, it’s a sweat shop.
1:05pm – Fight for a chair in the war room.
1:07pm – Decide to go get my own chair because this is stupid.
1:10pm – settle into the routine of pushing people to fucking test their shit.
1:15pm – Wonder if I can hit my architect with my coffee mug if I threw it hard enough.
1:20pm – Yell at my developers for not logging defects. Keep bugging them until they do it.
1:40pm – Wonder if someone would notice if I had a flask.
2:00pm – Start the status reports for the day. Two project – two status report.
2:10pm – Bug my leads to get me the info needed.
2:15pm – Chase down the people who are trying to blow me off.
2:30pm – Send out the status reports because if they aren’t emailed out by 3pm there will be hell to pay
3:00pm – Go grab more coffee.
3:15pm – Flirt, I mean, talk to the Russian guy who I wish was into BDSM. Try not to imagine him telling me to drop to my knees and suck his cock.
3:16pm – Fail and start day dreaming about that fantasy.
3:20pm – Back to my desk. Start listening to the PM who complains about everything bitch to our boss about, well, everything.
4:00pm – Decided it’s Friday, I’m over 40hrs, and leave.
4:15pm – Try to find something RED to wear to the dungeon party where the theme is, well, red.
4:20pm – Wonder why the hell I am able to find the most expensive thing in the store and have it be the only thing I like.
4:40pm – Find something I can live with.
5:00pm – Head home.
5:15pm – Change and drive to my friend’s house.
6:15pm – Leave for the munch.
6:30pm – Arrive at the munch and get a beer.
6:40pm – Get a great hug from an evil sadist.
6:41pm – Get my ass grabbed by his wife.
6:42pm – Give her a hug.
7:45pm – Leave for the party.
8:00pm – Arrive at the party and eat.
8:20pm – Play rock, paper, scissors with my friend to find out who gets to go first.
8:25pm – Lose on purpose because I want to make sure she gets hers – and I’m not worried that I won’t get mine.
8:40pm – Go down into the dungeon to watch what is happening. Marvel at the scening.
9:30pm – Get the “I’ll be done in a few minutes.” Reassure all is good.
10pm – Get my scene and giggle my ass of while trying not to swear like crazy and disrupt other scenes.
11pm – Start coming down for the endorphin high.
11:15pm – Head up to get food.
11:20pm – Laugh at the people sharing tips. Wonder what the Mistress of the dungeon is going to show us in terms of using regular items to induce pain.
11:25pm – Laugh my ass off.
12:00am – Head back to my friend’s house to get my car.
12:30am – Arrive home and have a drink to start winding down.
12:35am – Masturbate.
1:30am – Head to bed and hope to sleep.
2:00am – Sleep.
This is my day….or at least how I hope it goes.