We had an impromptu play date on Monday – SG and I. The opportunity presented itself, and we both jumped at the chance to get back into a routine, I think. The last several months have been off – between kid stuff and work and the holidays.
So, having the day off – I jumped in the car and met him at his house.
There may be more of an erotic story out of this meeting later, but it was the conversations that happened between our play sessions that really stand out for me.
In kink, negotiations are huge. As a friend said, you could go to jail with some of the sorts of play that we do. The bruises left behind can raise questions that the explanation of “it was consensual” may not easily be accepted.
While SG and I have had sort of “in the moment” exchanges, we have never sat down and talked about our kinks – what is in or out of bounds. As we had that moment finally – a year later – it was quite revealing.
Smart people believe they can infere anything given enough information. And we will all climb that ladder of inference quite quickly before we determine if those rungs are actually solid or imaginary. It is the nature of intelligence, I think. Why talk directly about something if you can read the signs and go with it.
And that is the problem really – sometimes the signs aren’t really signs. They are just moments that stand alone. There is no hidden meaning or connection with the other things.
SG and I both did that with each other. I made assumptions about him and his play style that were gleaned off our moments together. I never asked him directly – asking for clarity – making sure what I was seeing was what I was really seeing.
SG did the same with me too. For example, he had no idea that a spanking alone will turn me on even without sex. He had assumed those things were only for sexual play – not as foreplay or a stand alone play session – but as a larger act of sex. Boy was he surprised when I assured him that no, that was not the case.
As we laid there cuddled together, whispering these things to each other, I felt our dynamic shift a bit. Whenever something would get mentioned that I could tell he liked, I did something amazing – I asked him directly if that was something he was interested in doing or trying. His response was also direct – his language which is usually softened was direct and rough. It was nice seeing that in him – being able to reveal that part of me to him without concern about it being a negative dynamic changer between us.
SG revealed some things about the things he liked. He admitted that he likes doing certain things to me because he knows I’ll feel it for days to come. And it’ll make me think of him and the fun we had. I had not known that was part of his goal with some of the things we tried. Knowing it was part of a more evil plan was something I liked. These weren’t moment in time fucks – they were things he was thinking about – plotting – planning. More than I had realized. I like it when that is the case. I mean, what woman doesn’t like knowing the guy she is playing with is thinking about the next time.
All of this talking led to our next round of play as we continued talking and sharing our kinks as well as what we would like to do together as we fucked.
This moment, I think, will be a turning point for us. He has already told me he is making plans for our next encounter. I can’t wait to see where this takes us.
Now, I just have to make sure he doesn’t get any ideas from a different playmate, or I’ll really be in trouble as I’m also learning.
2 Comments Add yours
This is very interesting. I am interested in hearing what happens next, and posign this question:
Does up front analysis and discussion take out the spontaneous discovery of likes and dislikes. In my personal playtime, I mentioned something rather obliquely and my partner guessed exactly what I meant because we had discussed it. That took the fun out of the flirt.
I know that D/s and most types of pain-play need advanced discussion, but it’s seems to take the fun out of it.
I want to hear what you discover as you talk about it more up front.
Good communications between couples always brings a smile to my face!
Way to go Chica! I am excited to read what is in store for you next as well.