This comment usually makes me people laugh. G teaches down the hall from the principal’s office. He has a great relationship with the guy – running his and our kids’ school. Of course the principal isn’t going to call me – he’s going to pull him aside between classes and talk to him.
But, G is serious.
For good reason, probably.
DJ has hit puberty. She and I have had many of the talks you have to have when they start down this path. How babies are made, changes to her body, why showering and hygiene in general becomes important, etc. My mom made this a big deal – and not in the way that encourages ongoing communications. And not one, that in hindsight, gave me a lot of info about what I was truly going to go through, so each stage was a new and exciting surprise. (Read that as sarcastic as I intended it.) I do not want that for her. Puberty does enough to a kid – isolating them from the person with answers is not something that will help, in my opinion. Plus, she’ll have many reasons in the future to reject me. Why give her reasons out of the gate.
So, conversations will go like this in our house:
“DJ, you need to wear an undershirt when wearing your martial arts uniform.”
“When you bend over, everyone gets a clear view of the girls.”
“You know” as I point to my own chest, “the girls”
At this point she’s laughing, and replies with “They aren’t girls”
“Yours aren’t girls? Then are they boys?”
At this point she’s laughing so hard she can’t even stand up straight.
“Just wear an undershirt or a bra, okay?”
“DJ, did you lose your deodorant?”
“Don’t I smell lovely, Moe?”
“No, you stink.”
“But I like how I smell – smell me.”
“DJ, you know your dad keeps deodorant in his desk right?”
“It’s for the stinky kids. Do you want to be one of those kids who gets handed deodorant in class.”
“But I smell lovely. The boys will stay away.”
“Right now, it sounds like a good idea – but trust me, you don’t want that embarrassment.”
“Ok, I’ll go put some on – and won’t smell as lovely.”
“Indigo doesn’t know the words to ‘Baby Got Back’. It’s so funny.”
DJ to prove to me sings the part that ends with “I get sprung…”
“Do you even know what you are singing about?”
“Uhm….I think so….”
“Are you sure?”
“What’s that sprung part mean?”
“It’s about sex…are you sure you want to know?”
She looks at me with a smirk on her face, “I kinda do.”
So using a hand gesture, I explained it.
“Think of that next time you sing that song.”
The next day, she said something to G about who knows what. G’s response: “But do you get sprung?”
As I told G, I like the fact she’ll ask. I like the fact she isn’t embarrassed about her curiosity. And I like the fact she’s pretty open with us when something doesn’t make sense to her. I want it to continue. Because I have seen what this relationship with kids can do when they are older – makes conversations easier as there is already a dialog established. I like that.
But, G is probably right. My openness may lead to her explaining these things to a friend. And I’m sure I will be lucky that the friend’s parents will take offense to my daughter’s explanation of things.
And if that happens, I’m sure I’ll get the call from the Principal.
I guess I’m glad we’re friends.
And I do hope it will be a good story.