Sunday morning, I got a text from TL as I was cooking breakfast for my brother and his family who were staying with us. He was inquiring about Garbanzo’s “date” last week. I wasn’t near the phone charger at the time, but heard someone playing with it. We have a wireless charger for both of our phones, and it makes a tell-tale sound when someone takes the phone off of the charger. My brother started asking questions about it, and I didn’t think anything of it…..
…..until I saw the text message a few minutes later.
Given how TL had written the text, I didn’t worry too much. I knew to those not in “the know” would take it as a tongue-in-cheek remark of some sort. I replied back that it was good, and asked how his was.
And so began the back and forth about his sex-filled weekend (finally!) …. all while making pancakes, talking to my brother, and taking pictures of my niece.
I love my friends.
One of the things I was grappling with on Friday was what to tell our kids when they ask where their dad is. I knew it would come up before bed and the next morning. And while I’m not keen on lying (I’m a HORRIBLE liar), I couldn’t exactly say “well, daddy is off having sex with a friend…you know, the woman whose house you’ve been too several times, whose kids have helped us in the yard, whose husband has grilled hamburgers for you.” Yeah, clearly, THAT could not be the conversation.
So, I decided to tell an incomplete truth – he’s out with a friend, and because he is going to be late, he is just staying with the friend. No discussion of what they were doing. No discussion of who the friend was – even if the friend was male or female. A simple story. And not a lie.
Did they believe it? Yes, they did. And they didn’t even ask follow-up questions or anything. It was perfect.
And when he got home, they didn’t even ask him about his night, how his friend was, or anything. Simple solution.
This past week too, SG and I have talked while I’m commuting – always a trip. Usually he is driving somewhere for work while I’m on the train going to work. What makes it interesting is the fact he can say whatever he wants because he’s alone while i have to answer in generic ways. Like this past week, he asked how my knee was doing and asked how it was healing too. Then jokingly explained how he wanted it to be totally healed before our next play date so that he could use his ropes. “Oh, that’s my hope too” was all I could say as I met eyes with the guy across from me who seemed very interested in my conversation. I smiled back at him chuckling to myself.
Or another night where Garbanzo and the male half of a couple were discussing a questionnaire they were going to fill out to compete in something. It inquired how they met each other. We all joked about how we should answer it as the organizers might be amused at the fact we are all swingers, they probably weren’t going to find it “family friendly”.
I guess that is what I find most humorous about my life as it is now – how our “friends” are really becoming the best friends in terms of how they know our lives. TL is the one who knows the most about mine – all sides, while most of the rest are part of the inside joke – knowing the vanilla but knowing the truth about our lives. It definitely has been making life a lot more fun.