First Dates

Comments before the date:
Saturday night, we are going to meet a couple we’ve been talking with online. Okay, when I use the word “we”, I really should say that Garbanzo and the female half have been talking online. I have chatted a few times with her. And neither of us have chatted at all with him.

This could be interesting? Why?

In short, I have a few things that have made me give the situation a “yellow card” if you will.
Let’s review them, shall we?

  • This started out as a hot wife type situation. The woman plays, her husband gets off on the stories. The idea was that maybe Garbanzo could have a playmate or we could play as a threesome. But….
  • Her husband is interested now. Alone this would not necessitate its own bullet point, but….and you knew there would be a “but” right? But, he is brand spanking new to this – never done it before. I guess my pics grabbed his attention.
  • Her stories of her own experiences are VERY mixed. Look, she’s a woman playing solo. Yet, her stories are such a mixed bag of good and bad that I wonder about her judgment in situations like these. It’s like she missed the memo that women are generally in control of these sorts of things more so than the men. That concerns me a bit.
  • She is hard selling her husband to me. The guy is shy according to her. I get shy. I can come across that way during an initial meeting especially if I’m with people who are very gregarious. I don’t compete with those in situations like that, so I listen and interject occasionally. I like watching the interactions. Anyway, not one chat from him. Not one email. We’re hearing nothing. But, I am being told what a great cock he has, how great he is in bed, and how “he lasts a long time”.

Yep, this could be interesting.

After the date:
It wasn’t a bad meeting. But, it wasn’t great either. No real chemistry – nice people though.

As I told Garbanzo after, maybe letting them choose the place caused some of our issues. They chose a very nice restaurant – one where open conversation about things was going to be difficult. We recommended eating in the bar where we could have some honest dialog while still having a great meal, but they declined. 

I felt the conversation kept going in circles. It was the same conversation in various forms over and over and over again. The husband was nice. Quiet, but not shy. A person that is truly shy is someone who is reluctant to engage – timid and/or nervous. He wasn’t any of those things. He was just someone who listened more than he talked. When asked questions directly, he would answer them without hesitation – thoughtfully. No problems there really.

But, as little as he said, she said enough for both of them. I’m all about chatty, that isn’t the problem. This was just too much of the same thing over and over and over again. Whenever we tried to break them out of the cycle, they kept slipping back into it. It wasn’t enough of an issue where we felt the need to flee. We just found they were nice – and not nice enough to invite into our bed. 

Sunday, they played another newbie game: hinting at wanting feedback without given any feedback. If things had gone great, we would have sent them something last night. But, we needed to sleep on it.  I was in the space of “let’s give them another chance and take this meeting into another place where we can have an open conversation”. But, Garbanzo wasn’t sure. This morning, he decided she reminded him too much of a parent he used to work with at his old school. Nice enough, but not someone he was going to lust after. More someone he would invite to help him in the classroom making copies. 

We want to give them feedback directly. No Dear John type emails. I think they’ll take it less personally. I can totally see why experienced swingers stay away from newbies. Too much work!

I do wish them only the best. I hope they find a couple they have great chemistry with so that their first swinging experience as a couple is an extremely positive one.  I mean, your first experience should be a good one. It should be memorable in the good way.

Whether they get that or not, doesn’t matter. ‘Cause we are not the ones.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Hubman says:

    Aren’t first dates fun? Sounds like a good call, not moving forward with them.

  2. IveyLane says:

    Good post Emmy. We have a first date set up for tomorrow night and another one (sort of) for this coming weekend. The problem is, WE’RE the newbies at both!! It’s been a real challenge for us walking the line between prudence, apprehension, and excitiment. We do think we’ve learned a few things from our previous experiences and expect these to go a lot better, if by “better” we mean we’re more relaxed. We’re still looking for the couple where we both have chemistry.

    Oh, and this is like the third “the challenge with newbies is…” post I’ve read in the past few days. LOL RedInferno had a good one too.

  3. Maggie says:

    I like your description of the not-shy husband. So many people are lumped into the shy category who are not shy. Like me. 😉 That’s a good way of describing it though.

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