While I love my family, the tension was a bit much at times. My parents revealed that their unhappiness down there is partially because of the bullshit between them and my brothers and SILs. There seems to be this assumption on the part of my siblings that my parents are out to make their lives hell. And, what drives my parents – my dad especially – crazy is that they feel they have to walk on eggshells around those guys. They have to hold back and can’t say what they really want to say on pretty much any subject. I’m not talking about my parents telling them how to live their lives, but simple things like how to answer a question like “what do you think about the health care reform bill”. Any answer is met with conflict and judgment. Layer on top of that the demonstration of this behavior of my SIL Friday night, and I can see how they would feel that way.
Oh, and my SIL did not give up either. She mentioned it again on Facebook of all places. I was pretty annoyed. And, you want to know why she was annoyed? Because she had heard that if I had a chance to see my friend down there, I wanted to see him. My one brother had to work. My mom had made it clear she wanted to watch our kids – not my niece. Learning this is what set her off.
But, let me explain something that makes this really ironic. I NEVER talk to this SIL. No notes back and forth on Facebook. No phone calls. No real interaction what so ever. Even though they knew were were going to be there, there was still silence on their part. My brother did the same thing – remained silent. So, when we were considering what we would do while down there and having free babysitting, I explored the possibility of going out with a friend. I mean, he and I actually communicate with each other on a regular basis. There is Ironically enough, it didn’t work out. I had known this for at least a week, but since they don’t talk to me, they never found out and had instead been getting more and more annoyed at our lack of eagerness to go out with them. The whole situation really demonstrates how poor communication is with these guys.
After all of the bullshit around this drama, we actually did spend the day with my brother and SIL and niece. We enjoyed the weather and ate lunch at a local pub. It was all good, but awkward. I think probably the most awkward for them was the fact they realized they have not talked to us in almost 4 months. They had no idea that I was working again. They had no idea really about anything going on in our lives. You could tell it got to them a bit. Then to see how their daughter interacted with my kids – the way she followed DJ around as though she was the greatest kid in the world. The way DJ kept an eye on her. The way Indigo could make her laugh. It was all quite telling.
Especially when you contrast it with my other brother. He stole my kids on Friday night and took them to his house. Indigo and his stepdaughter are pretty amazing together. And he loves DJ’s twisted sense of humor. He literally cannot spend enough time with them. I love that. As do they. And he knows exactly what they are all about. He is already planning weekends with them this summer. I hope he comes thru because I know they would love it.
Probably the funniest part of the weekend came when my bro and I went to his brew shop where he buys his supplies. While there, he wanted to show me their selections of beer by the bottle. As we are walking thru, I start showing him the ones I love. At one point, he looked at me and asked what I haven’t tried. He couldn’t believe how well I knew my beer. Kinda telling, huh?
After dinner, we left the kids with the grandparents and met my brothers and SILs for bowling and beer. It was a lot of fun, but I think each of us drinking a pitcher of beer each helped. Garbanzo was our designated driver. I have not been that drunk in a LONG time. And Jesus in the Jesus room got to be quite a witness to some fun time we had when we got back. Sadly, we didn’t get much sleep, so we came home exhausted.
This week will be weird. The kids and Garbanzo are on spring break. The kids are going to day camp all week. Garbanzo is going to do the annual yard cleanup. This is the first year I won’t be taking time off to help (because I have none). We’re also going to add more raised beds to the backyard for more veggie garden space. He has helpers for two days. And he has a play date as do I. And I have my fingers crossed that I may have another one too. But, I know the odds are bad, but I can still hope a little, right?
Hope everyone has a great week!