Let’s Talk About Sex

The moment I knew would happen has happened.  And I have some viagra like commercial to thank for it.

While watching TV one night while Garbanzo was away, DJ asked what they were talking about in that commercial.  I had, in the past, blown her off with some stupid excuse, but decided it was time to just have that damn talk with her.  So I did.

“Moe, you are SOOO weird!!” was the general response from her as we discussed it.

I decided recently that I was going to use her love of science when having this talk, so I suggested that she go grab a particular anatomy book she has.  And, as luck would have it, this one had four pages dedicated to reproduction as well as puberty.  Perfect.  So, we talked about girls and boys and the changes to their bodies.  We talked about the menstrual cycle and what that meant – complete with diagrams and pictures.  Then we talked about the mechanics of how babies were made.  She knew some of it, but didn’t know all of it.

“So, you mean, that when the dogs wrestle they are having sex??”
“Not really – they are pretending to as a way of showing dominance.”
“That’s soooo weird!”
“Yes, DJ, it is.”
“So, a man and a woman in a movie aren’t just wrestling, they are having sex?”
Then she grabbed her book and left in giggles.

A few days later, Garbanzo asked if I had had the talk with DJ.  I confirmed I had and asked why.
“She asked me questions all the way home from school. WHAT did you tell her?”
I explained what we covered, and he shook his head as he left the room.
Hell, he teaches sex ed to the boys in 5th grade, he can handle this.

A few days after that, she came down after bedtime.
“Moe, I was thinking. Why is it that that chickens lay eggs, but the eggs never turn into chicks.”
Garbanzo gave me this look like he didn’t know if he should laugh at me or hate me for what I started.
“Well, remember when we went to the farm to get the produce? Remember when that rooster tackled that chicken? They were having sex.”
“Ewww….more ‘wrestling’!”
“Okay, that’s what I was wondering.” Then she went back to bed.

Sunday, she asked me how young you can be to get pregnant.
“Why? Are you planning to get pregnant?”
“It depends on when you start menstruating. Remember the egg thing?”
“Oh, so that explains why the youngest mom was like 8 or something. She started menstruating then had sex.  That’s just too young.”
“Yes, it is.”

I guess if I am happiest about anything it is the fact she IS asking questions.  I don’t think I would have been so bold to do it myself at that age, so I am happy about that.  And she did ask how people could have sex without getting pregnant, so we did start the conversation about the fact there are some ways to protect against that.  All of this at 9 years old seems a bit young in some respects, but is likely perfect timing in other respects. I guess that realistic approach has a lot to do with Garbanzo teaching middle school and hearing about what they talk about these days.

All of this is good assuming Garbanzo doesn’t kill me first.
I mean, he is looking at nunneries so that the whole sex thing can be avoided.
Guess he missed his opportunity.

10 Comments Add yours

  1. From what you said, I think you did a great job with your talk. You approached it in a way that would interest her, and it sounds like you gave her just enough information to start, but you’re open and honest when she asks more questions. I think I was around 9 (4th grade) when my mom and I had round one of “the talk”. I forget the details, but she was open to questions and always honest. Congrats on tackling a difficult discussion.

  2. It sounds like you did brilliantly, that must be one of the most daunting parts of being a parent! The most important thing is that she knows she can come to you with her questions and you won’t laugh at her or make her embarassed, and that is awesome 🙂

    —Amy xxxx

  3. RavenQuince says:

    *Standing O* (That’s OVATION. Sheesh!)

    Nice job. My parents NEVER talked about sex with me. Nor did my siblings. I was totally ignorant and just picked up bits and pieces until I was 13 or so. So good for you for giving her a starting point in a healthy and supportive way.

  4. Sa says:

    Bravo Emmy!
    My mother did the same, I was eight, and I will always be grateful because it prepared me for teenagedom and all the misinformation teenage girls exchange.
    I think you did a brilliant job.

  5. Vixen says:

    Sounds like you did a good job. Great questions she is asking too. I have had ‘mini’ talks with my daughter and have been surprised by how *few* questions she’s had. I’m not sure if that means she’s disinterested or I’m doing that good of a job explaining. LOL!

  6. NY Diva says:

    That’s awesome! And it’s never too early to get the conversation started, it’ll make things easier and more open for when she needs to put the information into action. 🙂

  7. Just me... says:

    I hope when the time comes I have to have the ‘talk’ with DD, I can do it as well as you did with DJ!! :):)

  8. People get their panties in a bunch over the silliest things. We haven’t yet had this talk but we’re talking about when. It holds no particular angst for. My girl (and boy) gonna gave sex eventually (I hope, spinsters aren’t the happiest people), accept, move on.

    Seems like you did well!

  9. rage says:

    You could always get the book (or video) “Where do babies come from?”

    Otherwise, you did a great job with the explanation of this.

  10. Rage, my parents bought me “Where Do Babies Come From!” The line I remember most from it was something along the lines of, “If sex feels so good, why don’t mom and dad do it all the time? Well, that’s because sex is tiring, kind of like jumping rope.”

    Emmy, I don’ think 9 is too young at all. Good for you.

    Also, does she call you “Moe” or is that a typo for “Mom?”

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