We decided recently it was time to get DJ into her own room.  I like having a guest room, so we decided that the best thing to do was to move Garbanzo out of the room he’s been using for his comic books and move her into it.  It’s a good size, it is technically a bedroom, and it has basically been a dumping ground for his stuff anyway. Garbonzo: Not a dumping ground by choice.  It is always, “Here.  Go put this somewhere.”  Somewhere ends up being my comic book room. Yeah, it was more like “go put your comics away. I’m sick of knocking them off the nightstand and standing on them as I try to get dressed in the morning.”

Garbanzo decided to put his comics upstairs in the attic.  Now that we have stairs, it would be pretty easy to move them up there.  He moved a bunch of the long comic book boxes up there – actually all of them.  Yet, I wondered what else was left – why was the room far from empty?

I decided to help him this afternoon.  I am not sure that this was a good thing for me.  Yes, it accomplished the purpose – getting him entirely moved out of there, but it led to a discovery that I was no prepared for.

My husband has a SHITLOAD of comics!!! Garbonzo: Shitload is a technical term.  Emmy is a technical person, so she speaks in specifics.

Holy fuck!  I mean, FUCK! (Garbonzo: see…specifics!) I cleared off 4 two-shelf bookcases.  Then two tall 5 shelf bookcases – full of fucking graphic novels. (Garbonzo: Not graphic novels about fucking. There are only a few of those.)  I mean, I was finding shit I never knew he bought.  Then going though the piles on the floor, I found more.  It seemed like everywhere I turned I kept finding more comics.

At the end, I was totally dumbfounded – for a few reasons.

1. How did I not notice he had bought so many??  I have decided this is a case of “death by a thousand paper cuts”. When one arrives from Amazon, it doesn’t seem like a big deal.  But seeing them all together – it’s a big fucking deal!

2. How much fucking money has gone into this expansion of the comics? While he picks up many at the local library store (where the public library sells off their books no longer in circulation), I also know he orders them and buys them locally too.  Cost per graphic novel? $1.25 used at the library store up to $20 new.  I start doing the mental math on how much he has spent, and I’m beyond pissed.  Yes, I know he could have spent a lot more on some first printing #1 of some such comic book – but we’re sleeping on a bed we’ve talked about replacing for years.  These comics I moved today, could have paid for that fucking bed!!  Another example of “death by a thousand paper cuts”.  It’s kind of like buying coffee is for some people. You don’t notice it individually, but when you add it up for a period of time, you have that “oh, shit” moment.  Garbonzo: Okay.  Here’s the real deal.  I gave up buying individual comics at the start of the year.  Each comic was between $3.50 and $3.99 each.  I was spending mumble mumble dollars a month on comics.  Since switching to trades, I have cut my spending in half.  So, I am cutting back.  My spending is way down and my enjoyment is way up.  I am picking up books from the library shop for a buck or two.  If I like them, then great.  If i don’t like them, then I am only out a little bit of money as opposed to the major dollars I was spending.  So, yes, there are a ton of comics on the shelves, but I am saving money.  Except when you consider the storage issue.  I feel like I need to go into George Carlin’s “stuff” rant about having stuff, needing a place to put your stuff, so buying more stuff to put your stuff in.  Factor in the number of “new approaches to storage”, and the numbers go back up.  Especially since graphic novels are stored differently than comics.

3. Why have I not heard about many of these?  When Garbanzo finds stories he likes, he raves about them much like anyone does about a book or movie they enjoy.  I was finding comics I didn’t even know he was into.  He hadn’t mentioned them. (Garbonzo: I swear I mentioned some of them.  It isn’t like I tried to hide them.)  Garbanzo claims it is because I don’t fake interest very well, so he picks and chooses what he rants to me about.  While I agree, I’m not a good faker in any respect – I also call bullshit.  When he’s excited about something he’s read, I usually hear about it. (Garbonzo:  Maybe I just wasn’t that excited.  Maybe my senses have been dulled by the sheer awesomeness of Girls Don’t Poop [available for a mere $1 from www.Iknowjoekimpel.com].  After that gem, everything else just seems like a shadow.)

I decided about halfway through this process that I was not going to be able to have a civil conversation with my husband about this one.  I was kind of angry that this has gotten so out of control during a time he continually claims to be “cutting back”.  And as a person who continually scales back things just to ensure a hobby doesn’t take over every spare spot in the house, it pissed me off seeing how his actions did not match his words when he has claimed to be doing the same thing. Garbonzo: See above for my explanation of cutting back.

When we were done, I walked out into the landing and was struck again by the sheer volume of it all.  Garbanzo knowing I was on the verge of exploding asked the question, then braced for my response.  And, I finally let it all out. 

He has vowed to thin the herd, if you will.  He claims he values quality above quantity.  I am hoping to see that happen as he moves them into the attic.  Garbonzo: For now it is all going up in to the attic.  Better to get it out of Emmy’s sight quickly and remind her of how happy she is that the girls made her a kegerator for Christmas than it would be for me to spend countless hours sorting and arranging it all on the landing. Except we have no space in the attic now. 

I should make mention of the fact that Garbanzo has given me permission to rant about this on my blog. (Garbonzo: Yay me!)  We generally have a rule about not airing our disagreements on our blogs – but in this case, he came and told me I could blog about it. I did resist the urge to make the whole damn mess into my picture of the day.  I think it would have just continually pissed me off had I.  Garbonzo: Or you would have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and admiration I received from everyone in awe of my awesome comic collection.

If anyone sees any in these piles that they’d like, let me know and I’ll “help” Garbanzo reduce his comics. I doubt he will notice they are missing….