It started with a situation where I couldn’t find a piece of clothing I know had been washed but not folded.  I looked for way too long trying to find it, but couldn’t.  And, at the height of my frustration, my frustration was met with a “not me” sort of response. 

Why did that frustrate me?  Because I get calls on my way to work when someone can’t find something.  I get emails.  I get pleads to help find something.  And, like a good mom and wife, I find it.  So, I’m getting frustrated at the fact I cannot find what I saw the day before – and it feels like a game of “not it!”

I go to work.  Work is annoying right now because there is nothing I can do this week.  The things I have left on my plate are dependent on a guy in our department who has decided to take vacation.  His decision is holding a lot of things up.  So, I’m in limbo.  And frustrated that is means I can’t take next week off because he’ll be back. 

Then, I do some cleanup work on a server.  A site I had created for a person on my team has been, unbeknown-st to me, stolen by another group.  I delete it.  They flip out. Normally, I would feel bad.  But, these guys are, to put it bluntly, assholes.  They can’t communicate if their life depended on it.  So, part of me is in the mode of “fuck off”.  In the end, I have to approve the spending of $1000 to get the fucking thing restored.  Now they are bitching about something else. 

Lunch was a celebratory meeting for the project that live 10 days ago.  The project that I worked 60+ hour weeks on for the past month & over 50+ hours a week on for the past several months before that.  First, I am not credited as being a core team member of the project.  This annoys me.  I bailed a lot of those guys out.  I worked on a lot of shit that was not part of my “role on the project”.  Hell, I sat in on about 10 hours a week worth of “core team meetings”.  The extended team members get recognized.  Not part of that group either.  I am the last name called as part of the “support team”.  At this point, I’m in the mode of preferring they simply forget me.  I worked my ass off.  Don’t belittle my contribution by making it sound like I did a minor role – and don’t group me in with the people who did have a minor role.  I get an envelope like everyone else. I’m almost afraid to look at it for fear it would piss me off.  Yep – it did.  My contribution got me a $250 check.  The fact I gave up my vacation time – that I’m giving up my 3 remaining weeks of vacation because of this fucking project – I get $250.  Not to get into what I make, but I’m an IT manager with 14 years experience excluding the 2 years of experience in my  college IT department – that check doesn’t even cover a single day of my salary. 

I tried to the it as a gesture.  I really did.  I tried to remember that this experience is what will get me my next job – hell, it has already made a headhunter stand up and take notice of my resume.  I am trying to look at the big picture.  But, publicly, my role in the project was diminished to a point where I feel it has been misrepresented.  It isn’t about the money.  No one has thanked me for fighting their battles or getting them what they needed to make their groups work.  No one has thanked me for stepping in and getting the project back on track. 

So, that was the “recognition” ceremony.  Another fun part of that meeting: the president of the company made it sound like those of us leaving the company as of 1-October are doing it by choice.  Making it sound like?  Let me be blunt – he literally said “there are people among us that have chosen to leave on 1-Oct..”  Yeah, unemployment in Oregon is over 12% as of yesterday’s stats – that is an increase over last month.  And, it was announced that a huge employer in the Portland Metro area is laying off a lot of their employees soon too.  But, I chose this option, I guess.

After lunch was more of the same bullshit.  The highlight was getting asked to interview candidates for a marketing job.  I’ve had a shitty day. I’m getting laid off in a couple of weeks.  Yeah, good choice, boss.  I don’t mind interviewing people. I kind of felt bad for this guy who recently relocated to be close to his family.  Bad timing.  What was worse? Knowing in about 5 minutes that he would be eaten alive by the company and wondering which HR person did not properly phone screen the guy.  I finished the interview, walked the guy out, gave him some advice, and he gave me a couple contacts of people hiring IT people in the area.  Almost feel bad that I can’t recommend him for a job.

I came home from my day of hell a bit early. My goal was to get in a long run – get this bad day out of my system – and enjoy my evening.  I looked everywhere and couldn’t find my running clothes.  I thought I would go for a bike ride instead, but I can’t find my bike shorts.  Now I’m getting pissed.  What is it with my clothes disappearing?!  I found them eventually – Garbanzo had thrown a load of laundry into the wash before he left work.  All of the a fore mentioned items of clothing were in it.  After a good exclamation of “FUCK”, I threw them in the dryer and tried not to get too frustrated at my continued luck.

Finally they dried, and I went for a run. Almost 5 miles.  It was hotter out than I expected, so I ended up shedding my t-shirt about mile 3.  (I wear under armor underneath.)  Traffic was on my side thankfully which is unusual given it was rush hour time which usually means having to stand at an intersection for 5 minutes before I can cross the street, but not today thankfully.

I got back from my run – exhausted, head clear, and ready to face the family.
My loving husband, knowing I had had a bad day, got me one of my many favorite beers:

For a porter, it is light actually.  I enjoy it.  And, it made me happy to have Garbanzo try to brighten my day by giving me what I love to drink. 

I’m hoping tomorrow is better.  I interview two people tomorrow.  I have a meeting with a department head who thinks I care that her team needs training on basic Office apps functionality.  My goal is to get out of there before 3pm each day this week.  Wish me luck.