First – I’m going to kill my brothers. Yes, I am aware it is a bad idea to document your intent to kill two people, but it has truly gotten to that point. I found out over the weekend two things: 1. My dad is dealing with depression and anxiety again – like in full force and 2. My brother who owes me money is avoiding me because he has no intention of paying me back even though he just got a pretty decent sum of money from a lawsuit settlement.
Going to the first point, no one has fucking called me to let me know it has gotten that bad with my dad. No one. Clearly, they are baffled by the way telephones work and only believe they can receive calls and not make them. I know they get frustrated with my dad when he gets like this, but they also know that I can usually get he and/or my mom to do stuff in situations like these. My mom will actually listen to me. Why? Because they view me as….wait for it….an adult.
My brothers haven’t achieved such status because they have yet to act like one. And, I’m not saying you have be serious, put away childish things, and all of that jazz to be considered an adult. For me, it is simply acting like an adult with my parents. My brothers both revert back to teenagers around them. Their adult attitude, in their eyes, is talking down to my parents. My dad, in particular, responds well to this tactic. Really, he’s like me – and fucks with them, does the opposite,etc. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
I am also pissed at the fact my youngest brother is avoiding me because of the money thing which is, in turn, hurting my dad. Here is the big reality: I wouldn’t take the money back if he gave it to me in cash. Why? The last time he fucked the money thing up, his girlfriend created huge family drama about it. I found out from my mom that EVERYONE heard about it. And it was my dad who asked why they were bragging about the fact they mismanage their money to the point where they would be writing bad checks. My mom asked if they needed a lesson in balancing a checkbook. I’m sure I’m being blamed for both of their responses.
So, now I’m trying to decide what I want to do. I want to go down and see my parents – my dad specifically, after I get laid off. But, in doing so, I will have to deal with the two dumbasses known as my brothers. Oh, and they will “play nice” I’m sure which will just piss me off. Why? I’m more from the school of “grow a pair and be out with it”. I’m not a game player. I’m not passive aggressive. If you piss me off, you’ll know. I’m not sure I can get through a couple of days without telling both of those asshats what they can do to themselves.
The second thing I must bitch about is the teachers at my husband’s school. First off, teacher drama is not a victimless crime. The victims can be the kids, but mainly, the victims are the teachers who actually care. And Garbanzo being a teacher who cares is continually victimized.
For example, Garbanzo as the social studies and language arts teacher is doing the annual trip to outdoors school, a science based week. Yes, he volunteered to do it two years ago. Why? Because his cohort who was supposed to do it groaned when it came up. She has done it every year she has been a science teacher regardless of situation. And, because of this – she is a bit burned out. Garbanzo didn’t mind, so he said he would do it for her that year.
Enter a new middle school teacher…..who likes everything his way. I don’t really need to go further do it? You are smart – you can see how this is going to end. But wait, there is a bit more. The middle school science teacher is pregnant, so it really isn’t feasible for her to do it this year. The newer teacher started thinking he would like to do it. He wanted the experience. Great. Garbanzo is in LA the weekend before he would leave before outdoors school, so this would be a relief for him and for us.
The new guy – decides he really can’t do it. I mean, it rains in Oregon that time of the year. It would be cold. And, he’s got more important things to do – like wash his hair.
The new guy, in addition to not being flexible about this one, has also got Garbanzo teaching an extra class. Why? Because the kids need more language arts and writing, so Garbanzo should do it. He’s the guy with the English degree. Huh? Where is this guy volunteering for anything himself??
Some of this is the joy of being a teacher’s wife. But, this is starting to be too much. At this point, our family schedule for weekends and such will not improve before November….wait, scratch that, make that December. (November is parent-teacher conferences, and such, so pretty much I won’t be seeing much of Garbanzo between that and outdoor school.) And that pisses me off. Why is this guy impacting what I want to do with my family? There is something fucked up about that, in my opinion.
This came to a head today when we were trying to plan a run we both want to do. But, Garbanzo isn’t going to be able to do it because this guy isn’t willing to give Garbanzo any weekends for our family. I looked for an alternative, but that won’t work either for similar reasons. It’s a fucking Sunday run. The guy knows how this is impacting our family and doesn’t care – yet when this guy wants something, Garbanzo is expected to bend over backwards and do it. Like I told Garbanzo today, it’s time to say ‘no’. And I don’t fucking care if he feels obligated to do it, I think he should force the fucking issue and make this jackass do it. I’m pretty sure the principal would support him on this one.
I mean, I am pretty much at the mercy of whatever the fuck is happening at the school – and that is fucked up. While work and home life collide sometimes, this, in my opinion, is a bit different.
So, that’s what I’ve been dealing with the last few days. Thank you for listening. And, if you hear I have killed someone on the news, I would appreciate it if your response to the media isn’t, “Oh, yeah, it’s not surprise Emmy killed them. She talked about it all of the time!” Sounds shocked. And vouch for my character. Thank you.
Would it make me a bad blogger friend if, instead of protecting your character, I sold the link to your blog to the highest bidder? Yeah … I thought so!
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Emmy!
(((((you))))))
I can definitely understand your frustration in ALL of the mentioned items. The middle school teacher taking advantage of Garbanzo and it directly effecting your family and wkends that should be *yours* with your husband would REALLY grate my nerves.
I can understand your frustration. I would just call your brothers out on your next visit.
Remember you have friends who love you and don’t ask you for money, so do you really need them?
I am unsure what you can do about work. I am sure that Hubman feels the same frustration with me due to my inability to say no.
I hate school politics. Someone once told me Kissinger described university politics by saying ‘The knives are so long cause the stakes are so small’ (I haven’t confirmed this so excuse me if it’s a misquote). Anywho, the problem in middle school is that the students are the stakes, something shitty teachers care nothing about but good ones do.
Therapist Britni that tries to leave it all at work is going to peek out and say: BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES.
1) If you want to see your parents, go see them. Your brothers want to bitch? Let them. Don’t let other people affect what you do/how you feel. Remember: you can’t control what other people do or how other people feel, but you *can* control how you respond and how you let it affect you.
2) Why does this other teacher get to take every weekend off and Garbanzo doesn’t? Is teacher above him? If not, Garbanzo needs to learn to say no. As someone in a helping profession, I know the feeling of wanting to fix/do everything you can. But the reality is that we can’t. And by trying to be everything to everyone, his role as teacher is flourishing but his role as husband and father is failing. And when his role as teacher is long gone, because he’s old and retired, his role as husband and father will still exist. And what’s more important to him?
OKAY I AM DONE BEING A THERAPIST. I IZ SORREE.