A Lesson in Communication

Senior year – 1994.  It was winter in Iowa. Everyone on campus was on a four day holiday weekend.  And Garbanzo had a great idea….we’d hang out one evening with a friend of his (Ryan) and his girlfriend (Maya).

Ryan and Garbanzo were fraternity brothers who lived on the same hall.  Hell, let’s just be honest, most of his fraternity lived on this hall – it helped the RA was also a brother.

Ryan had been dating Maya for a while.  They were pretty serious.  I never understood the relationship personally.  Ryan was, for the lack of better phrasing, a fuck up.  Meant well, but was constantly trying to bail himself out of one situation or another.  And, we could never figure out how he got into college.  I mean, he struggled through even the most basic classes.  So, he was a fuck-up and not very smart.

Maya, on the other hand, was hot and smart. She was the offspring of a Chinese mother and a Native American father.  She was tall with long black hair.  Her face was Chinese, except for her dad’s eyes.  Her smile would have lured anyone into a conversation with her.

It was fun hanging out with her because she would tell hilarious, though sometimes sad, stories.  She was one of like 6 kids.  Her mom died when she was young – and her dad – a struggling artist – was doing his best having lost the love of his life. 

Maya told stories about she and her siblings hiding all of the crayons in the house after their father, while coloring with them on the floor in the kitchen, discovered a texture created by the crayon on the linoleum – a texture he had to explore.  He ended up breaking all of their crayons as he sought to strike a balance between the texture and the color saturation. 

Or she told how in the middle of the night, she and her sisters hid all of the matches in the house. Her father was missing their mom pretty fierce, and it was his habit to burn any of the pieces of her he had created.  They hid the matches on those nights because they knew he would regret his actions the next day – so they prevented them. Their family was crazy, but totally loving and devoted to each other.  It was amazing. 

Oh, and like any hippie type family – we were always entertained by things like their names, for example.  Their middle names were derived somehow from whatever location the child was conceived.  Maya, for example, was conceived in Vegas – so her middle name reflected it.  Like I said, she was always entertaining.

So we were going to hang out with these two.  We had a couple of beers.  And, I think we played Scrabble or something.  (Garbanzo: it was Trivial Pursuit.) And Maya was entertaining us with stories.

At one point during the night, it was suggested we play strip poker or strip Monopoly or something.  It doesn’t matter what game it was we were playing – the guys were trying to get us naked.  Initially Maya and I played along.  We both were wearing shoes, socks, sweatshirts, and various other layers. It was winter in Iowa and fucking cold.  We knew it was going to take a while before nudity was achieved. 

Maya and I ruined the game for the boys when we shed our bras while our shirts were still on.  The boys protested.  And tried to change the rules.  Garbanzo remembered that this game was not going to go as planned because I have a knack from all of the years running coed cross country of being able to change without removing a single amount of outside clothing.  Eventually it was realized that there was not enough alcohol for this game to continue, so it broke up. (Garbanzo: Emmy also claimed that the lighting wasn’t exactly setting the mood well.  Something about the harsh overhead lighting not helping.)

After we walked back to the dorm room, I asked Garbanzo what he had wanted to happen.  He played all coy and denied there was any plan or forethought.  It was all “fun”.  I think the beer was blamed…and then, boredom.

Eighteen years later, we would be revisiting this night during a conversation.  I asked him about whether or not that night was a setup.  Was he and Ryan thinking they could lure (trick) us into some sort of impromptu foursome?  He admitted that he and Ryan had hoped it would turn into something.  It was part of “the plan”.

I asked him why he didn’t let us in on the plan – or at least me. 

He was afraid I would be repulsed.

Yeah, like I’ve turned down many (if any) of his suggestions in the bedroom.  I’m fairly open-minded with a “I’ll try anything once” sort of attitude.

“If you had asked me, I would have told you it wouldn’t have worked.”

“Why not, ” he asked in surprise.

I mentioned Ryan was a fuck-up, right?  He wasn’t very smart.  And, he wasn’t very attractive either. Lack of intelligence, for me, is a huge turn off.  The lack of attractiveness wasn’t helping his cause.

“Really? Ryan kept you from doing anything??”  Garbanzo was a bit shocked.

“Absolutely.  The boy didn’t do anything for me.  I mean, did you really think he was my type?”

“True.  So if Maya was say with another guy, would you have considered it?”

“Absolutely….had we talked about it first, you idiot!  Maya totally had a thing for you in case you missed that.  Why do you think she sought you out as a shoulder to cry on after he left college?” I pointed out.

(Ryan was a fuck up – I think I already said that – a couple times already.  His dad got fed up and basically took away the money for college midyear.  Ryan ended up joining the Army instead.)

“True.  But, you would have considered it?  Really?” Garbanzo asked a bit astonished.

“Yes.  Yes, I would have considered it.  That’ll teach you not to communicate.”

“But, I’m communicating now….”

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Cheeks says:

    Way to ruin everything, Ryanthedouchebag. 😉

    I give you a lot of credit – I am not sure I would’ve been able to handle the foursome idea at that age. It’s something that has evolved developed over time.

    Have you guys looked up Maya lately? It might be time for a reunion!

  2. Vixen says:

    Bet he’s kicking himself now, eh? Hehe… 😉

  3. Emmy says:

    Cheeks – We recently reconnected with Maya (thank you Facebook!)

    Vixen – he was kicking himself, but only because he could have had it sooner. 😉

  4. rage says:

    Oh wow!

    I have a fondness for Asian girls. Don’t know why but I just do.

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